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Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. v.18

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. v. 18
The main function of a university is debatable. Some people believe that it is necessarily important for a university to convey knowledge and skills to graduates which are relevant to their work field later. However, others argue that university should give access to knowledge for its own choice without regarding the impact on employer later. Personally, I believe that the essential role of a university is to provide students with basic knowledge and skills for their future career which will be elaborated trough the following paragraphs. To begin with, a university is responsible to share knowledge to graduates which are relevant to the subject and their career later. Students who decide to be nurses and enrol in a nurse academy should be imposed abundant knowledge about nursing. This, somehow, will enhance their insight about nursing and make them understand about disease and proper treatment. For example, providing general knowledge about the rampant virus of Ebola can establish students' idea on how to recognise the symptoms of Ebola and how to ensure the proper treatment of the patients. Furthermore, a university also immensely needs to boost graduates skill that will be matched with their future job. Knowledge must be accomplished by related skills to perform a better action in workplaces. Some universities support their graduates by various skills through various ways. For instance is university internship. A dentist student cannot be a good dentist if he is just supplied by knowledge about dental problems. Yet, he needs to gain skills of how to identify and recovery dental problem through direct practice in the internship. While doing practice, he will receive several skills of how to administer treatment on dental problem supporting his future career after graduation. All in all, basic knowledge and skills should be granted to graduates to support their activity in their workplaces.
The main function of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is debatable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is
necessarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to convey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
which are relevant to their work field later.
However
, others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should give access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
for its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice without regarding the impact on employer later.
Personally
, I believe that the essential role of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is to provide students with basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for their future career which will
be elaborated
trough the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is responsible to share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
which are relevant to the subject and their career later. Students who decide to be nurses and enrol in a nurse academy should
be imposed
abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about nursing. This, somehow, will enhance their insight about nursing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand about disease and proper treatment.
For example
, providing general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about the rampant virus of Ebola can establish students'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
on how to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
the symptoms of Ebola and how to ensure the proper treatment of the patients.

Furthermore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
also
immensely
needs to boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
that will
be matched
with their future job.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be accomplished
by related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to perform a better action in workplaces.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
by various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
through various ways.
For instance
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
internship. A dentist student cannot be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
dentist if he is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
supplied by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about dental problems.
Yet
, he needs to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of how to identify and recovery dental problem through direct practice in the internship. While doing practice, he will receive several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of how to administer treatment on dental problem supporting his future career after graduation.

All in all, basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
should
be granted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
to support their activity in their workplaces.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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