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Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. v.17

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. v. 17
In today's modern world, many students choose to go to university immediately after they finish school to acquire the knowledge and skills that are crucial in their future workplace. However, there are a handful of people who assert that the university should teach the students for its own sake without taking into considerations of whether it will benefit the employer. In my opinion, I think the major purpose of attending a university is to gain knowledge that is useful in our future jobs. In these times of austerity, people are spending most of their adult life in working just to secure a decent job. Most of the organisations are, undoubtedly, will attract the talented and knowledgeable potential employees to work for them by offering a high salary. If a university is able to provide the students all the required knowledge and skills which play an indispensable role in their prospective jobs, it is, indirectly, opening up an avenue for them to get a well-paid job. As a result, they would benefit their family by supporting them financially. Thus, universities should teach their students about the knowledge that are required in their future careers so that they can secure a well-paid job. In addition, most of the employers are looking at the academic qualifications which they believe will bring them advantages during the interviews of job applicants. If the graduates are equipped with the desired knowledge and skills in university, they are more likely to be successfully employed owing to the fact that they can handle most of their jobs well as compared to those who lack certain knowledge in the work field. Admittedly, it will help to lower the rate of unemployment which becomes more severe than before around the globe. Hence, it is proven that the graduates with high qualifications and knowledge required in a specific workplace will definitely get a higher chance of getting a higher position in an organisation. In conclusion, if all the universities are providing their students with the knowledge and skills which are important in their future careers, the graduates can easily secure a decent job with a high paid in the twenty-first century. I believe that all the graduates will achieve their aspirations in their jobs if they are well-equipped with the required knowledge.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
immediately after they finish school to acquire the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that are crucial in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
workplace.
However
, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "handfuls", "handsful"?
handful
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who assert that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sake without taking into considerations of whether it will benefit the employer. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the major purpose of attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
that is
useful in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
jobs.

In these times of austerity,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are spending most of their adult life in working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to secure a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Most of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
are,
undoubtedly
, will attract the talented and knowledgeable potential employees to work for them by offering a high salary. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is able to provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which play an indispensable role in their prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, it is,
indirectly
, opening up an avenue for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
As a result
, they would benefit their family by supporting them
financially
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
careers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can secure a well-paid job.

In addition
, most of the employers are looking at the academic qualifications which they believe will bring them advantages during the interviews of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
applicants. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are equipped
with the desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, they are more likely to be
successfully
employed owing to the fact that they can handle most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
well as compared to those who lack certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in the work field.
Admittedly
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to lower the rate of unemployment which becomes more severe than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
around the globe.
Hence
, it
is proven
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
with high qualifications and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
in a specific workplace will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher chance of getting a higher position in an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.

In conclusion
, if all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are providing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
careers, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
can
easily
secure a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a high paid in the twenty-
first
century. I believe that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
will achieve their aspirations in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
if they are well-equipped with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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