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Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. v.13

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. v. 13
The primary purpose of tertiary education is to prepare graduates for their future career. While thousands of people would enrol for the sake of acquiring general knowledge and skills which will make them competitive in the job market, there is a portion of them who would expect to obtain the specific qualifications only for their dream job. Therefore, I strongly believe that university should organise their courses’ programs in order to provide future employees with all the skill sharpening professional training for their specific occupation. One compelling reason for this is that all the contemporary occupations nowadays are task specific which makes it a necessity for workers to be able to comply with every job requirement. Once they graduate they are expected to take over all the responsibilities their job needs them to do, have the know-how, as well as the expertise to carry out all the arduous and demanding tasks. For instance, as soon as I graduated from the Faculty of Philology I had to take a part-time teaching job. I was overwhelmed with all the expectations my employer had in everyday practice, whereas there was no need at all of all the theory I had mastered throughout my studies. On the other hand, it is beyond doubt that most of the jobs would require employees to do a lot of multi-tasking and to be capable of meeting deadlines while conducting project work. Apparently, big companies would prefer to employ a person well-equipped with all the necessary knowledge related to several positions within their range, instead of over-staffing. Notwithstanding the competitiveness among businesses, there is always a huge demand for the top notch professionals within one sector. This will be possible, only and only if universities raise their standards and provide broad education and practice for their students. In conclusion, I would maintain that tertiary education should be more content-specific and ensure the fastest and highest quality for their graduates. Not only will professionals be able to use their university knowledge as a catalyst towards their career, but they will be able to make a living out of it for a lifetime.
The primary purpose of tertiary education is to prepare graduates for their future career. While thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would enrol for the sake of acquiring general knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them competitive in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market, there is a portion of them who would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to obtain the specific qualifications
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for their dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe that university should
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
their courses’ programs in order to provide future employees with all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
sharpening professional training for their specific occupation.

One compelling reason for this is that all the contemporary occupations nowadays are task specific which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it a necessity for workers to be able to comply with every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requirement. Once they graduate they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to take over all the responsibilities their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
needs them to do, have the know-how,
as well
as the expertise to carry out all the arduous and demanding tasks.
For instance
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I graduated from the Faculty of Philology I had to take a part-time teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I
was overwhelmed
with all the expectations my employer had in everyday practice, whereas there was no need at all of all the theory I had mastered throughout my studies.

On the other hand
, it is beyond doubt that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
would require employees to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
multi-tasking and to be capable of meeting deadlines while conducting project work.
Apparently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would prefer to employ a person well-equipped with all the necessary knowledge related to several positions within their range,
instead
of over-staffing. Notwithstanding the competitiveness among businesses, there is always a huge demand for the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top notch
professionals within one sector. This will be possible,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
if universities raise their standards and provide broad education and practice for their students.

In conclusion
, I would maintain that tertiary education should be more content-specific and ensure the fastest and highest quality for their graduates. Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
will professionals be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their university knowledge as a catalyst towards their career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living out of it for a lifetime.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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