Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that uniform at school is unnecessary and should be banned. v.1

Some people think that uniform at school is unnecessary and should be banned. v. 1
Uniform is a mandatory constituent of schools in most of the countries and children are obligated to wear uniforms during school hours. Some people argue that children should have a freedom to dress up according to their own preference. However, others claim that uniform at schools is a symbol of unity among students and a way to disregard discrimination as well. I strongly believe that uniform has social and ethical significance on children and should be a mandatory part of their education. There is no doubt that uniform has substantial impacts on children. It gives them a feeling that they belong to the same group of people, thus help in creating stronger bonding with each other. Furthermore, uniform eliminates the element of discrimination among students, as both rich and poor students are obligated to dress in the same way. People on the public places can easily distinguish the school children and this offers some benefits. However, allowing others dresses than uniform could deteriorate the situation. This would lead to severe problems such as inferiority complex, shattering confidence and other social issues and that have detrimental effects on children's mind. In addition to this, buying new clothes would be an additional expense that could be very difficult for poor people to fulfil. To draw the conclusion, I would like to say that uniform is an essential part of schooling and should not be neglected at any cost. It gives them the impression that they belong to the same family and this makes them thrive in their studies and sports. Banning uniform is not a healthy activity and could leave bad effects in children attitudes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Uniform
is a mandatory constituent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in most of the countries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are obligated
to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hours.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "freedom".
a freedom
to dress up according to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preference.
However
, others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is a symbol of unity among students and a way to disregard discrimination
as well
. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
has social and ethical significance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and should be a mandatory part of their education.

There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
has substantial impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It gives them a feeling that they belong to the same group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in creating stronger bonding with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
eliminates the element of discrimination among students, as both rich and poor students
are obligated
to dress
in the same way
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
on the public places can
easily
distinguish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and this offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits.

However
, allowing others dresses than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
could deteriorate the situation. This would lead to severe problems such as inferiority complex, shattering confidence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
social issues and that have detrimental effects on children's mind.
In addition
to this, buying new clothes would be an additional expense that could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to fulfil.

To draw the conclusion, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is an essential part of schooling and should not
be neglected
at any cost. It gives them the impression that they belong to the same family and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them thrive in their studies and sports. Banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is not a healthy activity and could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
attitudes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that uniform at school is unnecessary and should be banned. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts