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Nowadays companies and other organisations are requiring their employees to wear uniform Think about jobs where uniform is important What are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform v.1

Nowadays companies and other organisations are requiring their employees to wear uniform Think about jobs where uniform is important What are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform v. 1
In recent times, many research has been conducted to find out various factors influencing intelligence; however, there are many people believe that this an innate quality, while others think that external factors play a significant role regarding this. In my opinion, I personally consider this is heavily related to genetics. On the one hand, those who point out that surroundings of a person is responsible for their intellectual abilities advocate that, external stimuli modulate human' s such qualities. Primarily, home atmosphere, which includes parental influences, relationship with siblings and nutritious food. Interactions of these stimuli can determine whether any child is intelligent or not. Studies, which conducted among adopted children, for instance, have concluded that the foster family's ' background is affected child's talents: dancing, painting, and singing. However, despite the above point, others considering that intelligence is an inherited quality which passes from parents to children. In other words, several scientists find that genetics play a crucial role in this ability than other elements. By contrast, if an individual has super genius parents, who tend to become equally skilful as their parents. Not only do external elements influence, but it is manipulated as well. Take Mukesh Ambany as an example, he is a highly intellectual businessman in India, the fact is that his ancestors and his children are famous for their talents. I, personally, think that the combination of both internal and external elements make a clear difference in the intellectual capacity of any person. By way of conclusion, even though people have different opinion regarding the factors which affect the intelligence of any human being whether inherited abilities or the outside environment. I believe that both these factors are equally responsible for the same.
In recent times,
Possible agreement error. The noun research seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much research", "a good deal of research".
many research
has
been conducted
to find out various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
influencing intelligence;
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that this an innate quality, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
play a significant role regarding this. In my opinion, I
personally
consider this is
heavily
related to genetics.

On the one hand, those who point out that surroundings of a person is responsible for their intellectual abilities advocate that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
external
stimuli modulate human' s such qualities.
Primarily
, home atmosphere, which includes parental influences, relationship with siblings and nutritious food. Interactions of these stimuli can determine whether any child is intelligent or not. Studies, which conducted among adopted children,
for instance
, have concluded that the foster family's
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
background is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
child's talents: dancing, painting, and singing.

However
, despite the above point, others considering that intelligence is an inherited quality which passes from parents to children. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, several scientists find that genetics play a crucial role in this ability than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
elements. By contrast, if an individual has super genius parents, who tend to become
equally
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
as their parents. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
external
elements influence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
is manipulated
as well
. Take Mukesh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ambany
as an example, he is a
highly
intellectual businessman in India, the fact is that his ancestors and his children are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for their talents.

I,
personally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the combination of both internal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
external
elements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
difference in the intellectual capacity of any person.

By way of conclusion,
even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which affect the intelligence of any human being whether inherited abilities or the outside environment. I believe that both these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are
equally
responsible for the same.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays companies and other organisations are requiring their employees to wear uniform Think about jobs where uniform is important What are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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