Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Throughout history, male leaders always lead us to violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders, it will be more peaceful. v.2

Throughout history, male leaders always lead us to violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders, it will be more peaceful. v. 2
Most of the countries in the world are led by men, only a few countries are governed by women. I personally think that whether a government or a leadership brings violence or peace has nothing to do with the gender of the leader. It is generally believed that women have gentler personality than men in the way they act. But, it does not guarantee that if a woman leads a country or a society, they can prevent conflicts, clash or violence from happening because a leader is not the only party causing or triggering conflicts. In running her government and taking a decision or a policy, a female leader cooperates with and discusses a lot with many other parties so I do not think that her mother figure will come first in dealing with various complicated problems her government is facing. Instead, she can not give priority to her feminine feeling (caring, loving, affecting, etc) in policy making. A leader, either female or male, needs to take action in accordance with the situation. That is why I believe that the gender of a leader makes no difference in this issue. Many countries like Bangladesh, India, and Pakistan were governed by female leaders and yet the conflict and violence increased during their time and this is a clear indication that a female leader cannot guarantee and peaceful society. Moreover, conflicts often happen because of inability or bad leadership skill of a leader in running his or her leadership. In any country, the incapability of leaders, regardless of their gender, causes many problems leading to the unsatisfactory of people and the decrease in people’s trust level to the government, both of which are likely to result in chaos, clash, and conflict. I am convinced that everyone will agree that capability and leadership skill have nothing to do with gender. It is ridiculous to judge that men have a better capability in leading an organisation than women, or vice versa. Besides, the success and the failure of an organisation or a government are determined not only by the leader but also the staffs and the cabinet. No matter how capable the leader is, he or she will not be able to execute his or her government programs to bring prosperity for his or her people and to satisfy them if he or she does not have a good team. In conclusion, the ability of a country to avoid and prevent conflict and violence depends on the capability of the leader, regardless of gender, to run the country. It is not wise to say that men with their masculinity bring violence and none can guarantee that women with their femininity will be able to bring peace for people.
Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world
are led
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are governed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
or peace has nothing to do with the gender of the leader.

It is
generally
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have gentler personality than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in the way they act.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it does not guarantee that if a woman leads a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or a society, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
, clash or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
from happening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
party causing or triggering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
. In running her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and taking a decision or a policy, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
cooperates with and discusses a lot with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other parties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that her mother figure will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
first
in dealing with various complicated problems her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is facing.
Instead
, she can not give priority to her feminine feeling (caring, loving, affecting, etc) in policy making. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
, either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
or male, needs to take action in accordance with the situation.
That is
why I believe that the gender of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
no difference in this issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Bangladesh, India, and Pakistan
were governed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
and
yet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
increased during their time and this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
indication that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
cannot guarantee and peaceful society.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of inability or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
in running
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
. In any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, the incapability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
, regardless of their gender, causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems leading to
The phrase 'the unsatisfactory of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the unsatisfactory of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
trust level to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, both of which are likely to result in chaos, clash, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
. I
am convinced
that everyone will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that capability and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
have nothing to do with gender. It is ridiculous to judge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
have a better capability in leading an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, or vice versa.
Besides
, the success and the failure of an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
are determined
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the staffs and the cabinet. No matter how capable the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
is, he or she will not be able to execute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
programs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
prosperity for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and to satisfy them if he or she does not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
team.

In conclusion
, the ability of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to avoid and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
depends on the capability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
, regardless of gender, to run the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is not wise to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
with their masculinity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and none can guarantee that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
with their femininity will be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
peace for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Throughout history, male leaders always lead us to violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders, it will be more peaceful. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
454 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts