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Some people think that traveling is a good thing. Others think that traveling is a bad thing. Which one do you support? Use specific examples to explain your answer v.2

Some people think that traveling is a good thing. Others think that traveling is a bad thing. Which one do you support? Use specific examples to explain your answer v. 2
Our planet so astonishing and misterious. At all times, roaming around the world let people to explore new lands and civillisations. I personally think that traveling is a good thing. The reasons why I hold this stance will be elaborated in the paragraphs below. One of the reasons is that voyaging enables people to enhance intelligence. When people visit new contries they meet new humans, talk to each other and share experience and knowledge. This knowladge individuals can use after coming back home to ameliorate their life by including the new experience in their daily activities. If ancient people had not traveled acrose the regions they lived in, they would have not developed tremendous amount of things, such as agticulture and trade, which eventually brought them to the modern technical progress. Althoug, staying home is more safe than traveling to unknown places, it gives to humans myriad of benefits. To that end, travelling fasilitates humans` evolution and helps them to excel. The other reason is that journeys bring people together. During the traveling people get familiar with other cultures. This awareness help humans to understand each other in a higher degree and appreciate stiles of life, which are complitely different from their own. Therefore, people are more likely to avoid a variety to national conflicts and this way, increase quality of life on the planet. If an individual is cosmpolitan, he tends to communicate with people from all around the world in a peaceful and friendly maner. Despite on availability of scores of television programs and magazines about traveling and different cultures, it is always better to look at the world with your own eyes. So, traveling contributes to decreasing the numbers of wars on the Earth. To recapitulate, I feel that voyaging is advantageous for prople. This is because it helps humans to augment their intellectual abilities and live peaceful lives. All things considered, it is reasonable to assume that traveling improves peoples life tremendously.
Our planet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
astonishing and
Possible spelling mistake found.
misterious
. At all times, roaming around the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lands and
Possible spelling mistake found.
civillisations
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that traveling is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing. The reasons why I hold this stance will
be elaborated
in the paragraphs below.

One of the reasons is that voyaging enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enhance intelligence. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
contries
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, talk to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and share experience and knowledge. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowladge
individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
after coming back home to ameliorate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experience in their daily activities. If ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had not traveled
Possible spelling mistake found.
acrose
the regions they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in, they would have not developed tremendous amount of things, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
agticulture
and trade, which
eventually
brought them to the modern technical progress.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Althoug
, staying home is more safe than traveling to unknown places, it gives to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
myriad of benefits. To that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, travelling
Possible spelling mistake found.
fasilitates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans`
evolution and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to excel.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reason is that journeys bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together. During the traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures. This awareness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to understand each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in a higher degree and appreciate stiles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, which are
Possible spelling mistake found.
complitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to avoid a variety to national conflicts and this way, increase quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on the planet. If an individual is
Possible spelling mistake found.
cosmpolitan
, he tends to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all around the world in a peaceful and friendly
Possible spelling mistake found.
maner
. Despite on availability of scores of television programs and magazines about traveling and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, it is always better to look at the world with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
eyes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, traveling contributes to decreasing the numbers of wars on the Earth.

To recapitulate, I feel that voyaging is advantageous for
Possible spelling mistake found.
prople
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to augment their intellectual abilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
peaceful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. All things considered, it is reasonable to assume that traveling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
tremendously
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that traveling is a good thing. Others think that traveling is a bad thing. Which one do you support? Use specific examples to explain your answer v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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