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Some people think that traveling is a good thing. Others think that traveling is a bad thing. Which one do you support? Use specific examples to explain your answer v.1

Some people think that traveling is a good thing. Others think that traveling is a bad thing. Which one do you support? Use specific examples to explain your answer v. 1
The the emergence of Technology has changed the face of the globe, including the shopping habits of people. In the Modern times, an increasing number of people have started shopping online. This essay shall outline the various merits and demerits of this trend to both individuals and to the companies. There are a host of benefits of purchasing different products online to individuals. To commence with, online companies deliver the items to the homes of the customers which saves time and energy of the people, as they have no longer to rely on visiting different markets and shops for their desired product. In addition, customers can choose the items of their wish by comparing different customer ratings and reviews on the net. Thus, this way is quite helpful for convenience and compatibility of customers. Finally, online things are much cheaper than those sold in shops because some shopkeepers can sell them at any price of their choice. Hence, online shopping, in its way, is much more advantageous to buyers than just buying different products from the shops. To the manufacturing industries, advantages include, the better the profit on items. The company sell their products directly to the customers by which online shopping has omitted the working of retailers, wholesalers and shopkeepers. Many big companies such as, Amazon, Flipkart have earned much more profit by selling product online as compared to just selling them to the retailers. Also, there is no chance for people to bargain while purchasing the products because online products are sold at fixed prices, and even customers get big discounts during the deals on the special occasions of festivals. Therefore, such way of shopping is profitable in different ways for manufacturers. On the other hand, there are a few drawbacks of shopping online. The customers have to pay extra shipping charges for the items. Additionally, many times customers remain unsatisfied with the quality of the products because the products they buy online are different from those which they have ordered. The other negative outcome of it is that sometimes the products which get damaged during the shifting process are damaged took much time to replace. As a consequence, there will be loss of company in replacing items. Overall, there is a plethora of advantages of selling products online, but on the other side there are few disadvantages to the customers and companies.
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "The" or "the" is left.
The the
emergence of Technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the face of the globe, including the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In the Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. This essay shall outline the various merits and demerits of this trend to both individuals and to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

There are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "hosts"?
host
of benefits of purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
to individuals. To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
deliver the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
to the homes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
which saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as they have no longer to rely on visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
markets and shops for their desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
can choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
of their wish by comparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
ratings and reviews on the net.
Thus
, this way is quite helpful for convenience and compatibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
things are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
cheaper than those sold in shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
shopkeepers can sell them at any price of their choice.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, in its way, is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more advantageous to buyers than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from the shops.

To the manufacturing industries, advantages include, the better the profit on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
directly
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has omitted the working of retailers, wholesalers and shopkeepers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
such as, Amazon, Flipkart have earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more profit by selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
as compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
selling them to the retailers.
Also
, there is no chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to bargain while purchasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are sold
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
prices, and even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
discounts during the deals on the special occasions of festivals.
Therefore
, such way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is profitable in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ways for manufacturers.

On the other hand
, there are a few drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay extra shipping charges for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
remain unsatisfied with the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from those which they have ordered. The other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcome of it is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
damaged during the shifting process
are damaged
took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to replace. As a consequence, there will be loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in replacing items.

Overall
, there is a plethora of advantages of selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other side there are few disadvantages to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that traveling is a good thing. Others think that traveling is a bad thing. Which one do you support? Use specific examples to explain your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
395 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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