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TPO14-Task2Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO14-Task2 People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
In this contemporary era, Robotics and Artificial Intelligence became use at every aspect of once life. According to some people It is very helpful for human in the future, whereas the other says that it is very harmful and affect people negative way. I will discuss both views in further paragraphs and clear my position in final passage. On one hand, Robots are useful for many tasks which is impossible for humans. Such as it easily work in extreme hot or cold. In manufacturing industries, It increases production of product as well as it reduces error in manufacture. There are several medial surgeries done through this method like doctor at a different place and patient in hospital. Doctor done surgery through this technique. In the military it also replaced human soldiers, which help to decrease death of soldiers because it can be easily repairable if any damage occur. In hospitality machine serve things to client very politely compare to human. On the flip side, First and foremost reason is it created unemployment. All this technology made human means if any error occurs then it makes huge lose of money, Resource and as well as time. If a doctor gives any wrong command, then it creates the risk of patient life. If it replaces human soldiers then powerful countries conquer weak countries and it also provided by one country to, other than that country know the weak point of the machine. Which is by that country to take down another country in war. Last but not the least, It is very costly which is not afforded by all persons or country. In conclusion, In my point of view, it creates negative effects on society as well as on human which sometime destroys the future of humans.
In this contemporary era, Robotics and Artificial Intelligence became
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
at every aspect of once life. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
in the future, whereas the other says that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful and affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way. I will discuss both views in
further
paragraphs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
my position in final passage.

On one hand, Robots are useful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tasks which is impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. Such as it
easily
work in extreme hot or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
. In manufacturing industries, It increases production of product
as well
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
error in manufacture. There are several medial surgeries done through this method like doctor at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
place and patient in hospital. Doctor done surgery through this technique. In the military it
also
replaced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
soldiers, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to decrease death of soldiers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can be
easily
repairable if any damage occur.

In hospitality machine serve things to client
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
politely
compare to human.

On the flip side,
First
and foremost reason is it created unemployment. All this technology made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
means if any error occurs then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
huge lose of money, Resource and
as well
as time. If a doctor gives any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
command, then it creates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of patient life. If it replaces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
soldiers then powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
conquer weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and it
also
provided by one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to, other than that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
know the weak point of the machine.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is by that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to take down another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in war. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly which is not afforded by all persons or country.

In conclusion
, In my point of view, it creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on society
as well
as on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
which sometime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
the future of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay TPO14-Task2 People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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