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Some people say that Money makes that world go round, others say that money is the root of all evil. Which of these do you agree with? Use examples and details in your answer. v.1

Some people say that Money makes that world go round, others say that money is the root of all evil. Which of these do you agree with? Use examples and details in your answer. v. 1
The 20th century has seen my changes such as lifestyle, eating habits and technological revolutions, and these are beyond our wildest expectations. There have always been variation of culture, climate between different regions of a nation, as a result, every region has a specific food preference. Some critics assert that the vegetarian diet can address most of the health issues the upcoming generation is facing, and the benefits of green diet will be outlined in the essay. Firstly, since vegetarian diet has sufficient fibre content in it, so it is easy to digest, consequently it does not contribute towards accumulation of fats in the body. In other words, the persons eating vegetarian diet will less likely to be obese, therefore they are leaner and active in their daily life. A survey done by National food agency, for instance, reported that 95% of the obese person's intake flesh in their diet and they suffer with digestive issues. Moreover, because the meat has to be cooked at high temperature and is enriched with oil, so the cholesterol levels are high, whereas raw vegetables flushes out the cholesterol deposited in the body, thereby decreasing the risk of heart diseases. On the other hand, non-vegetarian diet is rich in protein content, whereas vegetarian diet has not sufficient proteins in it, which impacts the strength of bones in the human body. For example, eating 1 kg of chicken soup provides 50 grams of protein, whereas the same quantity of broccoli has 10 grams of protein, hence the vegetarian suffers from lack of protein in the body. Furthermore, eating boiled meat boost up the immunity by natural process, so there is no need to take artificial supplements. To conclude, vegetable diet is a healthy way of living and are easily accessible to a common man. They have inbuilt functions which benefits the body.
The 20th century has
seen
my
changes
such as lifestyle,
eating
habits and technological revolutions, and these are beyond our wildest expectations. There have always been variation of culture, climate between
different
regions of a nation,
as a result
, every region has a specific food preference.
Some
critics assert that the vegetarian diet can address most of the health issues the upcoming generation is facing, and the benefits of green diet will
be outlined
in the essay.

Firstly
, since vegetarian diet has sufficient
fibre
content in it,
so
it is easy to digest,
consequently
it does not contribute towards accumulation of fats in the
body
.
In other words
, the persons
eating
vegetarian diet will less likely to be obese,
therefore
they are leaner and active in their daily life. A survey done by National food agency,
for instance
, reported that 95% of the obese person's intake flesh in their
diet and
they suffer with digestive issues.
Moreover
,
because
the meat
has to
be cooked
at high temperature and
is enriched
with oil,
so
the cholesterol levels are high, whereas raw vegetables flushes out the cholesterol deposited in the
body
, thereby decreasing the
risk
of heart diseases.

On the other hand
, non-vegetarian diet is rich in protein content, whereas vegetarian diet has not sufficient proteins in it, which impacts the strength of bones in the human
body
.
For example
,
eating
1 kg of chicken soup provides 50 grams of protein, whereas the same quantity of broccoli has 10 grams of protein,
hence
the vegetarian suffers from lack of protein in the
body
.
Furthermore
,
eating
boiled meat boost up the immunity by natural process,
so
there is no need to take artificial supplements.

To conclude
, vegetable diet is a healthy way of living and are
easily
accessible to a common
man
. They have inbuilt functions which benefits the
body
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people say that Money makes that world go round, others say that money is the root of all evil. Which of these do you agree with? Use examples and details in your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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