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Some people think that travel is necessary to learn about other nations others however think that tv and internet is best way to learn discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people think that travel is necessary to learn about other nations others however think that tv and internet is best way to learn 2
These days, people are willing to learn about different countries. It is thought by some that travelling is the best way to obtain knowledge about other nations. While, others believe that people can get information about other countries through browsing and watching television, I completely agree with the formal statement that people get different experience when they visit personally. According to some experts, travelling play crucial role in order to acquire knowledge about different territories. When people destined to different kingdom, they gain knowledge not only geographically but also about cultures and as well as various customs. For example, a study have shown that when people travel personally to another countries, they get hands on experience about their heritage. In other words, they can learn about host country history, about legends and archeological monuments. Besides, they experience sense of responsibility to represent themselves as a responsible tourist to follow their rules and regulations. Furthermore, they would be able to make new connections and friends. Thus, we can see that travelling is essential to know country and people. On other hand, some people argue that why we should pay extra money on travelling when we get information with television and internet. It is unquestionable that advance technology including internet and television have all sort of informations. For instance, with the help of internet we can travel across the world. People who wish to visit difficult access continent such as Antarctica, but it would be difficult for them to travel such continents due to harsh weather. Thus, they can obtain all kind of knowledge with the click of a button. Furthermore, televisions have different channels including Discovery and Global Television Network, they exhibit different cultures and customs 24 hours 7 days a week without any cost. In conclusion, there are some benefits to gain knowledge about different countries through internet and television, but in my opinion, best way to gain information about other territories is travelling.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is the best way to obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations. While, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
through browsing and watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the formal statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
experience when they visit
personally
.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
play crucial role in order to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
territories. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
destined to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
kingdom, they gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
geographically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
about cultures and
as well
as various customs.
For example
, a study have shown that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel
personally
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hands on experience about their heritage. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they can learn about host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
history, about legends and archeological monuments.
Besides
, they experience sense of responsibility to represent themselves as a responsible tourist to follow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations.
Furthermore
, they would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new connections and friends.
Thus
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is essential to know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that why we should pay extra money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and internet. It is unquestionable that advance technology including internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
have all sort of
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
.
For instance
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of internet we can travel across the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who wish to visit difficult access continent such as Antarctica,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it would be difficult for them to travel such continents due to harsh weather.
Thus
, they can obtain all kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
with the click of a button.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
channels including Discovery and Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
Network, they exhibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and customs 24 hours 7 days a week without any cost.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
through internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion
A determiner is probably missing here: ", the best".
, best
way to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
territories is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that travel is necessary to learn about other nations others however think that tv and internet is best way to learn 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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