Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. Give reasons for your answer and inclu v.8

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. 8
These days, many people choose to live or work in other countries, which has been made possible because of the convenience of air travel and modern communications. I believe that this has more benefits than drawbacks. The disadvantage of this development is the distance that is put between family members. If a person moves away it is true that air travel and devices such as Skype mean that communication and contact can be maintained. However, it is likely that a person will only be able to return one or two times a year during the holidays, and speaking on Skype or via email is not the same as face-to-face contact. Despite this, there are significant advantages it can bring to people’s lives. Firstly, it means that people have the opportunity to see other parts of the world and also the way people live. For example, people from the West often go to work in Asia or the Middle East and vice-versa. This enriches many people’s lives as they get to learn about other languages, traditions, cultures and different ways of working rather than keeping their own traditions. In addition to this, on a broader level, it may also benefit other countries. If someone moves abroad to take a job position, it is usually because their skill is required there. To illustrate, nurses and doctors often move to be part of the staff in hospitals in other countries when there are shortages, so this is very valuable to the place they move to. I would therefore argue that although there are disadvantages of the current trend to live and work abroad, they are outweighed by the advantages. It can enrich people’s lives and the lives of people in the countries that they move to.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
or work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which has
been made
possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the convenience of air travel and modern communications. I believe that this has more benefits than drawbacks.

The disadvantage of this development is the distance that
is put
between family members. If a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moves
away it is true that air travel and devices such as Skype mean that communication and contact can
be maintained
.
However
, it is likely that a person will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be able to return one or two times a year during the holidays, and speaking on Skype or via email is not the same as face-to-face contact.

Despite this, there are significant advantages it can bring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Firstly
, it means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the world and
also
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the West
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go to work in Asia or the Middle East and vice-versa. This enriches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
languages, traditions, cultures and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of working
rather
than keeping their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditions.

In addition
to this, on a broader level, it may
also
benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. If someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moves
abroad to take a job position, it is
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is required
there. To illustrate, nurses and doctors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to be part of the staff in hospitals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
when there are shortages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable to the place they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to.

I would
therefore
argue that although there are disadvantages of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and work abroad, they
are outweighed
by the advantages. It can enrich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts