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Some people think that to reduce traffic problem people will come from rural areas to live in urban areas. What extant do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that to reduce traffic problem people will come from rural areas to live in urban areas. What extant v. 2
It is thought that traffic and tranportation problem will be eradicated if people migrate from countryside to urban area. However, I think it will multiply the issue rather than solving it. Urbanization will bring a lot more traffic problems to cities because of increase in urban population, more transport services are required to facilitate people. In this essay I will discuss my opinion with example. Urbanization means there will be more vehicles in cities as citizen from different age groups will need them to move around. In oder to fulfil their task and responsibilities, residence will need vehicles to go to restaurants, education centers and hospitals. For instance, common people required vehicle like car and buses to complete their tasks such as jobs, festivals and education. This will augment the traffic congestion on roads instead of decreasing it. In addition, if urbanization will speed up, urban area will expand for sure which means further development of houses and infrastructure will require. This development of housing and infrastructures will cause burden on existing roads. Heavy lorries, for example loaded with construction material will block the traffic of old roads. Therefore, encouraging people to live in the countryside will reduce the traffic problem. Notwithstanding the idea of urbanization, I think rural and countryside will develop both economically and physically. If employment opportunities would provided there, inhabitants of these area will not come to metropolitan areas to seek jobs. This would reduce demand of taxi and buses from transportation sector. Also, as long as these areas would equipped with facilities like gardens, recreational places, hospitals, educational centers, entertainment and parks, people would not visit cities again and again. By reducing number of trips, transport needs can be easily fulfilled and traffic crowding will not seen. To conclude, after transforming suburbs into self-sufficient industrial, agriculture commercial hubs, traffic and transportation issue can be solved in already exiting cities. Whereas, encouraging people to migrate from urban to rural areas will amplify this issue.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tranportation
problem will
be eradicated
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate from countryside to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will multiply the issue
rather
than solving it. Urbanization will bring a lot more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
population, more transport services
are required
to facilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In this essay I will discuss my opinion with example.

Urbanization means there will be more vehicles in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as citizen from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups will need them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
oder
to fulfil their task and responsibilities, residence will need vehicles to go to restaurants, education centers and hospitals.
For instance
, common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
required vehicle like car and buses to complete their tasks such as jobs, festivals and education. This will augment the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion on roads
instead
of decreasing it.
In addition
, if urbanization will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
speed up
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
will expand for sure which means
further
development of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and infrastructure will require. This development of housing and infrastructures will cause burden on existing roads. Heavy lorries,
for example
loaded with construction material will block the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
roads.
Therefore
, encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the countryside will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problem.

Notwithstanding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of urbanization, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
rural and countryside will develop both
economically
and
physically
. If employment opportunities would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "provide"
provided
there, inhabitants of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to seek jobs. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
demand of taxi and buses from transportation sector.
Also
, as long as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "equip"
equipped
with facilities like gardens, recreational places, hospitals, educational centers, entertainment and parks,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
again and again. By reducing number of trips, transport needs can be
easily
fulfilled and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
crowding will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.

To conclude
, after transforming suburbs into self-sufficient industrial, agriculture commercial hubs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and transportation issue can
be solved
in already exiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to migrate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
to rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will amplify this issue.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that to reduce traffic problem people will come from rural areas to live in urban areas. What extant v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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