Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is positive development, while many countries think they will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your opinions. v.1

Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is positive development, while many countries think they will lose their national identities as a result. v. 1
In the contemporary world, opinions are divided as to whether increasing international contact is a beneficial or detrimental phenomenon to each nation. While some people assert that some benefit can be reaped from this trend, I hold a belief that national distinctiveness could be under threat. On the one hand, from an economic perspective, international business trade offers domestic consumers a wide range of goods with more competitive prices. For example, in the past, when domestic suppliers had a monopoly on bread, Vietnamese consumers had no choice but to purchase exorbitant locally manufactured ones. Since Vietnam became a member of WTO, national buyers have been able to choose their desired products with a more reasonable price. From a cultural prospect, this phenomenon enables humans to broaden their knowledge of a new country. For instance, when befriending with native Americans, the Vietnamese can learn several Western etiquette such as being punctual, table manners and refraining taboos, all of which assist us in the path to becoming become global citizens. On the other hand, I believe that true that national distinctiveness could be adversely influenced when international connection is established. To begin with, national companies could can be excluded from the market by international ones if regionally produced goods fail to compete against other global products. When Starbuck first penetrated into Vietnamese market, people only supported imported coffees because they were at a higher quality than those of Vietnam, which pushed national coffee brands to bankruptcy. Secondly, the mother tongue of developing countries might be consigned to oblivion due to a lingua franca. To be more specific, with the aid of English, young generations can pursue higher education in top-notch universities of developed countries like America, seek for a decent job and earn a lucrative income; therefore, children in Vietnam are encouraged to put effort in acquiring English proficiency instead of grasping the command of Vietnamese. In conclusion, although cross-national trade and cultural exchange can be seen as an advantageous trend, national identity lost can be present at any time.
In the contemporary world, opinions
are divided
as to whether
increasing
international
contact is a beneficial or detrimental phenomenon to each nation. While
some
people
assert that
some
benefit can
be reaped
from this trend, I hold a belief that
national
distinctiveness could be under threat.

On the one hand, from an economic perspective,
international
business trade offers domestic consumers a wide range of
goods
with more competitive prices.
For example
, in the past, when domestic suppliers had a monopoly on bread, Vietnamese consumers had no choice
but
to
purchase
exorbitant
locally
manufactured
ones
. Since Vietnam became a member of WTO,
national
buyers have been able to choose their desired products with a more reasonable price. From a cultural prospect, this phenomenon enables humans to broaden their knowledge of a new country.
For instance
, when befriending with native Americans, the Vietnamese can learn several Western etiquette such as being punctual, table manners and refraining taboos, all of which assist us in the path to becoming become global citizens.

On the other hand
, I believe that true that
national
distinctiveness could be
adversely
influenced when
international
connection
is established
. To
begin
with,
national
companies
could can
be excluded
from the market by
international
ones
if
regionally
produced
goods
fail to compete against other global products. When
Starbuck
first
penetrated into Vietnamese market,
people
only
supported imported coffees
because
they were at a higher quality than those of Vietnam, which pushed
national
coffee brands to bankruptcy.
Secondly
, the mother tongue of
developing countries
might
be consigned
to oblivion due to a lingua franca. To be more specific, with the aid of English, young generations can pursue higher education in top-notch universities of
developed countries
like America, seek for a decent job and earn a lucrative income;
therefore
, children in Vietnam
are encouraged
to put effort in acquiring English proficiency
instead
of grasping the command of Vietnamese.

In conclusion
, although cross-national trade and cultural exchange can be
seen
as an advantageous trend,
national
identity lost can be present at any time.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is positive development, while many countries think they will lose their national identities as a result. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts