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In some developing countries it is difficult to get good teachers to work in rural areas which can have a negative impact on the education of children in those rural communities Why do you think good teachers do not want to work in rural areas in developi v.3

In some developing countries it is difficult to get good teachers to work in rural areas which can have a negative impact on the education of children in those rural communities Why do you think good teachers do not want to work in rural areas in developi v. 3
Some people think one of the excellent ways to bring people together from different backgrounds and ages is the music, with which I completely agree as music is one of those few things that are admired by almost every person in the world, and there is no national or international barrier for it. Obviously, people, belong to any culture or of any age, love listening to melodious music, and it does not matter where the origin of the tune is. Hence, many folk songs, that were originated in particular places, have universally accepted, praised and recorded. Even the language difficulty could not prevent this process of cultural assimilation through songs. For example, Bollywood's songs are popular to many people around the world, although only a few people can understand the language- Hindi. They still like to enjoy them as they are keen on listening to good music. Moreover, music is considered to be ubiquitous. There is no restriction on singing or playing songs that are from another area or nation. Besides, people of any age also enjoy them without being stopped. Therefore, many musical functions, such as concerts, music nights are taken place both nationally and internationally, where singers, musicians from different parts of the world participate. The audience of different ages and from different places also come to the shows, which bring people close to each other. In conclusion, I believe, music is a good option to bring people together because they love it and it is beyond any national barrier.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
one of the excellent ways to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
backgrounds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, with which I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is one of those few things that
are admired
by almost every person in the world, and there is no national or international barrier for it.

Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, belong to any culture or of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
listening to melodious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, and it does not matter where the origin of the tune is.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
folk songs, that
were originated
in particular
places, have
universally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
, praised and recorded. Even the language difficulty could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this process of cultural assimilation through songs.
For example
, Bollywood's songs are popular to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can understand the language- Hindi. They
still
like to enjoy them as they are keen on listening to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
music.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is considered
to be ubiquitous. There is no restriction on singing or playing songs that are from another area or nation.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
also
enjoy them without being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
musical functions, such as concerts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
nights
are taken
place both
nationally
and
internationally
, where singers, musicians from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
parts of the world participate. The audience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
and from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
places
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, which bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
close to each other.

In conclusion
, I believe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
it and it is beyond any national barrier.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some developing countries it is difficult to get good teachers to work in rural areas which can have a negative impact on the education of children in those rural communities Why do you think good teachers do not want to work in rural areas in developi v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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