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The exposure of international media such as films, TV and magazines has impacts on local culture. What do you think of the impacts have been? Do you agree that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

The exposure of international media such as films, TV and magazines has impacts on local culture. What do you think of the impacts have been? Do you agree that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
It is said that many influences on cultural identity stem from the media globalization such as films, TV, and magazines. While I accept that there are some drawbacks of the widespread media coverage, it is not to say that it has no redeeming feature. The more popular the media gains, the more influential it becomes. Global media has fundamentally changed not only people’s ingrained prejudice against women but also makes female role more recognized culturally. In some undeveloped nations which discriminate the basis of gender, were it not for the penetration of the television and magazines about female power, women would not be able to break the glass ceiling and make their job prospects brighter. However, the exposure of the media can menace the identity of the local community. Because of the prevalent use of English and other languages in the magazines and films, the locals abandon their mother tongue to better adapt to the world, which undermines their own vernacular On the one hand, the ubiquity of the media can be extremely positive. It is common knowledge that the mass media has bridged the gender in the community, which enables women to achieve success in life like their male counterparts. For instance, Ellen’s show is an exemplary example to illustrate that women can become the host of a TV show, which was men’s exclusive domain. On the other hand, the media poses a threat to the multicultural society and cultural mosaic. There is an ample evidence suggesting that the newspapers and television have homogenized the world by encouraging people to use only English and adopt the Western lifestyles. In conclusion, there are many impacts of the media on the local culture and the advantages and the disadvantages of the exposure are equally significant.
It
is said
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
influences on cultural identity stem from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
globalization such as films, TV, and magazines. While I accept that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of the widespread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
coverage, it is not to say that it has no redeeming feature.

The more popular the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
gains, the more influential it becomes. Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
fundamentally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s ingrained prejudice against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
female role more recognized
culturally
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undeveloped nations which discriminate the basis of gender, were it not for the penetration of the television and magazines about female power,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
would not be able to break the glass ceiling and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their job prospects brighter.
However
, the exposure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can menace the identity of the local community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the prevalent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of English and other languages in the magazines and films, the locals abandon their mother tongue to better adapt to the world, which undermines their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
vernacular


On the one hand, the ubiquity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can be
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. It is common knowledge that the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has bridged the gender in the community, which enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to achieve success in life like their male counterparts.
For instance
, Ellen’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
is an exemplary example to illustrate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can become the host of a TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
, which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s exclusive domain.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
poses a threat to the multicultural society and cultural mosaic. There is an ample evidence suggesting that the newspapers and television have homogenized the world by encouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
English and adopt the Western lifestyles.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
impacts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on the local culture and the advantages and the disadvantages of the exposure are
equally
significant.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay The exposure of international media such as films, TV and magazines has impacts on local culture. What do you think of the impacts have been? Do you agree that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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