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Some people think that to have a successful life you have to have University education, while others think it’s not that important, discuss both views and give your opinion based on personal experience and knowledge. v.2

Some people think that to have a successful life you have to have University education, while others think it’s not that important, v. 2
The assertion that university degree is a mandatory to have a successful life seems to me constitutes a fundamental misunderstanding among people. Whether to agree it or not is a thought provoking question. Personally, I, like many others, tend to totally agree the viewpoint that without university education become successful is nearly impossible. The opponents of the argument, clearly put the point forward that there are many examples of successful people around the world who did not completed university education and still became successful most famously Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs. Their argument do have some justification and might be right to some extent. However, the reality is quite different and these people are some exceptional examples which cannot be used as general rule. On the other hand, there are millions of examples of successful university graduates who have been succeeded because of their academic credentials. Even Bill Gates, Zuckerberg and Steve jobs had the similar level of programming skills as a university graduate. Again, those who believe that academic degree is not mandatory to be successful in life usually mention that prosperity does not depend on academic qualifications but upon opportunities. This statement also may be true. But, I think opportunity does not come to all and bright academic background is a giant leap towards opportunities. Moreover, a University is not only a place of acquiring academic degree but also a place to learn so many things that help us to become more rounded as human being which is also an indispensable criterion of success. Apart from the above mentioned reasons, the opponents of the viewpoint, may also claim that success never depends upon grades and the rule of success is hard work and destiny of course. This might also be true with a one eyed view. However, I think success is about all talents and abilities that requires study in academic institutions. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that, there is a range of conflicting arguments opposing and supporting the viewpoint, I am fully convinced that university degree is essential to become successful in life.
The assertion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is a mandatory to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
life seems to me constitutes a fundamental misunderstanding among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
it or not is a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
thought provoking
question.
Personally
, I, like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others, tend to
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the viewpoint that without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
is
nearly
impossible.

The opponents of the argument,
clearly
put the point forward that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world who did not completed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education and
still
became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
most
famously
Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs. Their argument do have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
justification and might be right to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
However
, the reality is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exceptional examples which cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
.
On the other hand
, there are millions of examples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates who have
been succeeded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
credentials. Even Bill Gates, Zuckerberg and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Steve jobs
had the similar level of programming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduate.

Again, those who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is not mandatory to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in life
usually
mention that prosperity does not depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
qualifications
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
upon opportunities. This statement
also
may be true.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
opportunity does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to all and bright
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
background is a giant leap towards opportunities.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a place of acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a place to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to become more rounded as human being which is
also
an indispensable criterion of success.

Apart from the above mentioned reasons, the opponents of the viewpoint, may
also
claim that success never depends upon grades and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of success is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and destiny
of course
. This might
also
be true with a one eyed view.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
success is about all talents and abilities that requires study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
institutions.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that, there is a range of conflicting arguments opposing and supporting the viewpoint, I am
fully
convinced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is essential to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in life.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that to have a successful life you have to have University education, while others think it’s not that important, v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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