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some people believe that movies should be based on social stigmas while other believe that it should be based on real life hero. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

some people believe that movies should be based on social stigmas while other believe that it should be based on real life hero. v. 1
Now days, there are different prospects about the keeping of animals and creatures. In other words, most disagreements are about how to keep creatures and what should be the conditions. In this essay, I will discuss the views not only economical and personal but also environmental opinion. Firstly, one of the most important advantages of keeping animals in zoos, is protecting them from bad weathers, hunters, and feeding accessibility. If we create a lot of restrictions on animals like imprisoning them in tight spaces, they would not be able to have bracing air and pursue other animals. Furthermore, the circumstance of keeping creatures is vital for living them. Consequently, living animals in natural dweller must be a major program for carrying them in run the world, to give them the chance of exposure usual being. Secondly, some animals are becoming extinct, that's why saving them is very crucial. Even though governments are spending huge budget for keeping them, the revenues will offset all costs. Specifically, take a kind of Chinese bear famous as a panda, a wide range of people travels to China to see it in zoos or circuses every year. Notwithstanding; most citizens decline the investment of governments for caring animals and find it as futile. In fact, they prefer that states invest in improving infrastructure, Like some highways, airports, hospitals and so on. Thus, the persons consider the development of the country more important than conservation of animals. Finally, animals, caring plays an important role in the advancement of scientific research, whereas the approach has been rejected in sakes of morally and religiously. Admittedly, most people believe we have no right to use animals of amusement and in labs. As has been noted, keeping animals in zoos might have countless advantages in provided that they are not kept away from their natural habitat. Reasonable causes behind that, respect the rights of animals to have better living conditions.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
days, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
prospects about the keeping of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and creatures.
In other words
, most disagreements are about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
creatures and what should be the conditions. In this essay, I will discuss the views not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
economical and personal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
environmental opinion.

Firstly
, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantages of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos, is protecting them from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
weathers, hunters, and feeding accessibility. If we create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
restrictions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like imprisoning them in tight spaces, they would not be able to have bracing air and pursue other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Furthermore
, the circumstance of keeping creatures is vital for living them.
Consequently
, living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in natural dweller
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a major program for carrying them in run the world, to give them the chance of exposure usual being.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are becoming extinct, that's why saving them is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial.
Even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are spending huge budget for keeping them, the revenues will offset all costs.
Specifically
, take a kind of Chinese bear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
as a panda, a wide range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travels to China to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it in zoos or circuses every year. Notwithstanding; most citizens decline the investment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
for caring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and find it as futile. In fact, they prefer that states invest in improving infrastructure, Like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
highways, airports, hospitals and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Thus
, the persons consider the development of the country more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than conservation of animals.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, caring plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the advancement of scientific research, whereas the approach has
been rejected
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
sakes
of
morally
and
religiously
.
Admittedly
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe we have no right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
of amusement and in labs.

As has
been noted
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos might have countless advantages in provided that they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
away from their natural habitat. Reasonable causes behind that, respect the rights of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to have better living conditions.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some people believe that movies should be based on social stigmas while other believe that it should be based on real life hero. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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