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Some people believe it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care for them. Others think that there are better ways to show affection to them. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people believe it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care for them. Others think that there are better ways to show affection to them. v. 3
Few people believe that giving gifts and presents to family and friends to let them know how valuable are they, is very important. However, some people hold different view and think that there are plenty of different and more reasonable ways to portray endearment to them. In my opinion I think strong relationships are based on trust, integrity and commitment and less dependent on materialism. On one hand, these days’ people have become more materialistic in nature, and true aura of relationship is lost. People feel more valuable if they receive presents or a valuable item from someone otherwise they feel humiliated and detached. For instance, If someone is visiting his or her home country from overseas, he is expected to bring precious gifts from friends and family otherwise he/she would be under huge introspection. True value of relationship is in dungeons and ostentation has replaced genuine care, love and affection. On the contrary, there are few people who realize the accurate value of a relationship. This breed of is difficult to find but they have different rationale of weighing spirit of relationship. They believe, it is more important to take time-out and sit with family or a friend, or physically help someone in finding a job, a new house, or nursing ailing parents or relieving someone out of miseries. They consider concrete physical efforts as an essence in nurturing a long-lasting health relationship unlike precious gifts that fade away. In my opinion, relationships are difficult to build and easy to break therefore, they should be built on solid grounds consists of true moral values.
Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that giving gifts and presents to family and friends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them know how valuable are they, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and more reasonable ways to portray endearment to them. In my opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
are based
on trust, integrity and commitment and less dependent on materialism.

On one hand, these days’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become more materialistic in nature, and true aura of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
is lost
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
feel more valuable if they receive presents or a valuable item from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
otherwise
they feel humiliated and detached.
For instance
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
is visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
home country from overseas, he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to bring precious gifts from friends and family
otherwise
he/she would be under huge introspection. True value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
is in dungeons and ostentation has replaced genuine care,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection.

On the contrary
, there are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who realize the accurate value of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. This breed of is difficult to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
rationale of weighing spirit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. They believe, it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to take time-out and sit with family or a friend, or
physically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
in finding a job, a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, or nursing ailing parents or relieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
out of miseries. They consider concrete physical efforts as an essence in nurturing a long-lasting health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
unlike precious gifts that fade away.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
are difficult to build and easy to break
therefore
, they should
be built
on solid grounds consists of true moral values.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people believe it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care for them. Others think that there are better ways to show affection to them. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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