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Some people think that to have a successful life you have to have University education, while others think it’s not that important, discuss both views and give your opinion based on personal experience and knowledge. v.1

Some people think that to have a successful life you have to have University education, while others think it’s not that important, v. 1
For many decades, an immense wealth gap has been noticed between wealthy and underprivileged nation. This essay will discuss the main causes of the imbalance wealth generation among nations, including corruption. This essay will suggest a solution to the problem include, overcoming this dilemma. Developed society earlier design the method to overcome the fraud, in addition, their government has taken serious measures against the bribery and renounce that as a severe crime, whereas developing countries do not consider the significance of that matter because most of the bureaucrats are involved in the heinous crime, for instance, a recent study by the World Anti-fraud Organization, bribery in Pakistan has been rising by 10% leading to accumulation of 70% official involvement. This often results in relocation of funds from less privileged nation to tax haven, leading to more flattering on the economy. Taking measures against the wealth misconduct and improving the overall course of action is critical to mitigating factor related to fraud. Developing countries' government needs to realise that they have adopted a strategy against the issue, because it will cause more disruption in their economy, for example, recently, Angola has adopted a series of strategy to overcome the issue which is routing all international remittances through proper banking channel along with proper documents and reasoning. Therefore, in order to reduce the crime the officials need to adopt the proper plan and with the mindset of proper implementing it and accountability. In Conclusion in today's fast paced world more and more developing nations become getting poorer as a result of the corruption, this essay discussed how less privileged nation becomes poorer because of the corruption. This essay also suggested that the solution to this problem which is implementing and adopting accountability.
For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decades, an immense wealth gap has
been noticed
between wealthy and underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss the main causes of the imbalance wealth generation among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, including corruption. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will suggest a solution to the problem include, overcoming this dilemma.

Developed society earlier design the method to overcome the fraud,
in addition
, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has taken serious measures against the bribery and renounce that as a severe crime, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
do not consider the significance of that matter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the bureaucrats
are involved
in the heinous crime,
for instance
, a recent study by the World Anti-fraud Organization, bribery in Pakistan has been rising by 10% leading to accumulation of 70% official involvement. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results in relocation of funds from less privileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to tax haven, leading to more flattering on the economy.

Taking measures against the wealth misconduct and improving the
overall
course of action is critical to mitigating factor related to fraud.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Developing countries
'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that they have adopted a strategy against the issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will cause more disruption in their economy,
for example
, recently, Angola has adopted a series of strategy to overcome the issue which is routing all international remittances through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
banking channel along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
documents and reasoning.
Therefore
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crime the officials need to adopt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
plan and with the mindset of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
implementing it and accountability.

In Conclusion
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced world more and more developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
become getting poorer
as a result
of the corruption, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed how less privileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
becomes poorer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the corruption. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
suggested that the solution to this problem which is implementing and adopting accountability.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that to have a successful life you have to have University education, while others think it’s not that important, v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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