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some people think that to be successful you need to get University education whereas others say it is not true. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

some people think that to be successful you need to get University education whereas others say it is not true. v. 1
Education is the fundamental right of children and it leads to an individual process. While some people believe that University education is important if you want to be successful in your life, other people disagree with this statement and they think it is not true. This essay will discuss why you can be successful in life without getting a University education, but getting a university education is much better. There are a number of people who believe that University education plays an important role in a life for a person, who wants to be successful. They have reason to believe that if you get a University education then you will have a good degree and in university placements you will have a chance to hire by the best companies with a good salary package. With the University degree in your hand, you can give interview in any big farm and you could get hired by them. For example, recent research shows that if you have a University degree, then you will have a 90% chance to be successful in your life. Because of these reasons people think that getting a University education is important. In contrast, of people who believe that you must get a University education if you want to be successful are those who think that you can still be successful without getting University education. If you have any startup Idea then you can start a whole company on that Idea and for that you don't need University education. For instance, there are so many billionaires like Steve jobs, Mark Zucker-Burg, bill gates and Jeff Bezos are college dropouts and nowadays their companies are among the best companies in the world. So these people believe that marketing and practical knowledge are much more important than University education to be successful in life. In conclusion, To be a better person education is important. This discussed why it is not essential to get the University education if you want to be successful, but why it plays a vital role in our success. In my opinion, every person who gets University education whether they want to be successful or not.
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Education
is the fundamental right of children and it leads to an individual process. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
statement and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not true. This essay will discuss why you can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is much better.

There are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for a person,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
. They have reason to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
then you will have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
degree and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
placements you will have a chance to hire by the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary package. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
degree in your hand, you can give interview in any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
farm and you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hired by them.
For example
, recent research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that if you have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
degree, then you will have a 90% chance to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of these reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

In contrast
, of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that you can
still
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
without getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. If you have any startup
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Idea
then you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
on that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Idea
and for that you don't need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
billionaires like
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Steve jobs
, Mark
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zucker-Burg
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
bill gates
and Jeff Bezos are college dropouts and nowadays their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are among the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that marketing and practical knowledge are much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in life.

In conclusion
, To be a better person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. This discussed why it is not essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why it plays a vital role in our success. In my opinion, every person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
whether they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
or not.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
71Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay some people think that to be successful you need to get University education whereas others say it is not true. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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