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Some people think that there are things individuals can do to prevent global climate change. Others believe that action by individuals is useless and irrelevant and that it is only governments and large businesses which can make a difference. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that there are things individuals can do to prevent global climate change. Others believe that action by individuals is useless and irrelevant and that it is only governments and large businesses which can make a difference. v. 1
While some people believe that individuals have some roles to play in the prevention of climate change globally, others however are of the opinion that the only preventive measure lies with the government and large businesses. In my opinion, individuals, governments and large businesses all have their parts to play in the prevention of global climate change. Climate change is a serious global challenge that requires urgent and sustained attention by individuals at various levels. To begin with, it is the wrong practices of individuals that contributed to this climate change in the first place. Those practices include, bush burning, deforestation, burning of fossil fuels, and the excessive use of automobiles and generators. Now, inasmuch as these practices are still ongoing, climate change will continue to progress, which will cause depletion of our ozone layer and then consequently, global warming. Hence, individual effort in putting a stop to these harmful practices will help in preventing this climatic change globally. Furthermore, government and large businesses such as industries have a crucial role to play in preventing this worldwide climate change. Being an urgent situation, the government should create a law against killing of some species of plants and animals. Also, there should be a penalty for lawbreakers as this will instill caution into people. In addition, industries should limit their use of hydrocarbons as these can cause the release of harmful gases and resulting in greenhouse effect, causing global warming. These industries make use of hydrocarbons in generating power but can alternatively use solar panel system or non hydraulic engine system. In summary, to achieve a tighter control or prevention of global climate change, the government should create a law that is binding on both individuals and industries against the use of hydrocarbons, engaging in bush burning, deforestation, and killing of plants and animal species.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
roles to play in the prevention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
globally, others
however
are of the opinion that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
preventive measure lies with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and large businesses. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and large businesses all have their parts to play in the prevention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
challenge that requires urgent and sustained attention by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
at various levels. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
that contributed to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the
first
place. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
include, bush burning, deforestation, burning of fossil fuels, and the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of automobiles and generators.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, inasmuch as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
are
still
ongoing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
will continue to progress, which will cause depletion of our ozone layer and then
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
effort in putting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to these harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in preventing this climatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
globally.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and large businesses such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
have a crucial role to play in preventing this worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. Being an urgent situation, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should create a law against killing of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species of plants and animals.
Also
, there should be a penalty for lawbreakers as this will instill caution into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
should limit their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of hydrocarbons as these can cause the release of harmful gases and resulting in greenhouse effect, causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of hydrocarbons in generating power
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
alternatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
solar panel system or
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non hydraulic
engine system.

In summary, to achieve a tighter control or prevention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should create a law
that is
binding on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of hydrocarbons, engaging in bush burning, deforestation, and killing of plants and animal species.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people think that there are things individuals can do to prevent global climate change. Others believe that action by individuals is useless and irrelevant and that it is only governments and large businesses which can make a difference. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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