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In the 30 years the world has seen an increase in immigration. Many people point out the benefits of this, whereas others believe the negatives outweigh the positives. • Discuss both of these viewpoints and give your own opinions. v.1

In the 30 years the world has seen an increase in immigration. Many people point out the benefits of this, whereas others believe the negatives outweigh the positives. • v. 1
In the 30 years, there has been an increasing trend that more and more people choose to emigrate Therefore, some people claiming the negatives outweigh the positives. I agree with this viewpoint. STATE WHY? Admittedly, it seems to be true that immigrating can bring plenty of benefits, especially for individuals, Obviously, for those immigrants, when they chose a more risky and the new life they had to communicate with different people and integrate with the local culture, it was a good opportunity to broad horizons and explore more about the world. For example, if people immigrated to other country, learning and using the foreign language to communicate with others was essential. Besides, in most cases, people immigrated to countries where the standard of living was better than that of hometown, This meant that they could stand on a higher level platform and meet more intelligent people, which helped to improve themselves and achieve their dreams However, since everything has two sides, the negative effects of increased immigration cannot be ignored. Life is always awash in uncertainties and may not be as happy and simple as imagined, Living away from familiar relatives and friends, the people who choose to immigrate cannot obtain other’s helps timely, particularly when they faced different types of difficulties and problems. For instance in a few countries, racial discrimination has existed for a long time, even sometimes, locals may isolate foreigners. Under that situation, it cost time and energy to deal with these issues and gradually used to loneliness Moreover, increasing immigration brought the key curse for the development of hometown-— labour shortage. As more and more people leave their home to work in other cities, it was harmful to the local economy. Because, it produced insufficient labour, low productivity and if the government had not made perfect policies to curb this trend, in the long term, the total output will decline and it cannot meet people’s increasing need. Finally, influencing the standards of living. Overall, although immigrating brought reams of new opportunities to individuals. However, due to it will be harmful to the development of hometown if the trend has not been controlled, the negatives outweigh the positives.
In the 30 years, there has been an increasing trend that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to emigrate
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claiming the negatives outweigh the positives. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint. STATE WHY?

Admittedly
, it seems to be true that immigrating can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits,
especially
for individuals,
Obviously
, for those immigrants, when they chose a more risky and the new life they had to communicate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and integrate with the local culture, it was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to broad horizons and explore more about the world.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immigrated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
country, learning and using the foreign language to communicate with others was essential.
Besides
,
in most cases
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immigrated to countries where the standard of living was better than that of hometown, This meant that they could stand on a higher level platform and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
more intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves and achieve their dreams

However
, since everything has two sides, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of increased immigration cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. Life is always awash in uncertainties and may not be as happy and simple as imagined, Living away from familiar relatives and friends, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who choose to immigrate cannot obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
timely,
particularly
when they faced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of difficulties and problems.
For instance


in a few countries, racial discrimination has existed for a long time, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, locals may isolate foreigners. Under that situation, it cost time and energy to deal with these issues and
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to loneliness
Moreover
, increasing immigration brought the key curse for the development of hometown-—
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
shortage. As more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home to work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cities, it was harmful to the local economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, it produced insufficient
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
, low productivity and if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had not made perfect policies to curb this trend, in the long term, the total output will decline and it cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
increasing need.
Finally
, influencing the standards of living.

Overall
, although immigrating brought reams of new opportunities to individuals.
However
, due to it will be harmful to the development of hometown if the trend has not
been controlled
, the negatives outweigh the positives.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay In the 30 years the world has seen an increase in immigration. Many people point out the benefits of this, whereas others believe the negatives outweigh the positives. • v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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