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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Disciplinary action action is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of disciplinary action action should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v.14

Children are God gifted their mind are not enough mature to take any decision. At the little age they are very vulnerable and innocent so, parents and teachers should teach difference between right and wrong things by the advice or punishment in most if developed countries avoid to give physical punishment. To begin with, children are part of family so it is our responsibility to teach them good thing at their child age. Firstly parents should teach moral value like tolerance and sharing. This thing plays key roll in children development. Without this they may be faced problem in future for instance, German and UK school professer claim that teaching good habits at early age can creat biggest impact on their future development. In addition, children have right to learn necessary thing along with their school education. Sometime children behave unrespectfully with old person because of social media influences and relation with inadequate friends. During this situation tutors and parents should enforce punishment criteria. So, it creats fear on their mind that is why they thinks twise before commiting any mistakes moreover. , in developing countries most schools preferred to give physical punishment because of lower literacy level. Hence it can create bad impect on their development for example, some of US community prove that physical punishment created fear which not able to overcome their hidden ability. So, people should avoid to give punishment to their pupils. To conclude, I personly believe that mentors and parents should help to child in differentiating bad and right habits. Also, sometimes they should give punishment for better improvement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are God gifted their mind are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
mature to take any decision. At the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
age they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vulnerable and innocent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers should teach difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
things by the advice or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in most if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
avoid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
physical punishment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are part of family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is our responsibility to teach them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing at their child age.
Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach moral value like tolerance and sharing. This thing plays key roll in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
development. Without this they may
be faced
problem in future
for instance
, German and UK school
Possible spelling mistake found.
professer
claim that teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits at early age can
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
A determiner is probably missing here: “the biggest”.
biggest
impact on their future development.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have right to learn necessary thing along with their school education. Sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
behave
Possible spelling mistake found.
unrespectfully
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of social media influences and relation with inadequate friends. During this situation tutors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should enforce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
criteria.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
creats
fear on their mind
that is
why they
The pronoun ‘they’ must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: “think”
thinks
Possible spelling mistake found.
twise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
any mistakes
moreover
.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma.
,
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
most schools preferred to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lower literacy level.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it can create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake found.
impect
on their development
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of US community prove that physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
created fear which not able to overcome their hidden ability.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should avoid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to their pupils.

To conclude
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
personly
believe that mentors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to child in differentiating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and right habits.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for better improvement.
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Charlemagne

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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