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Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age? v.5

Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age? v. 5
Childhood is the best time of life, which is full of enjoyment and love of the elders. Some people argue that children do not need to go to school until they are six or seven years old, whereas other people believe that young children should start going to school as early as possible. As per my opinion, schooling in early age can play crucial role in overall development of children. This essay will illustrate the advantage of going school in young age of the children. Childhood is the time when human develop their most of the habit, therefore if we look at social aspect, it is important that children interact with more people other than their family. Now a days parents send their children to nursery at the age of four or five at least for two or three hours a day. This pre-schooling develops the habit of staying away from parents and meeting new people at school. This helps them during their first standard to focus on study and other activity rather than missing their parents, when they actually start academic education. Moreover, In young age of children, if they start their schooling, they start playing different mind games and physical games with the basic study and it is necessary for physical and mental development. Such kind of development may not be possible even if children are playing games at home, because in the school they are with their friends. In conclusion, by considering all these advantages, it is crucial to go to school for children in the young age. At the same time, parents should also allow children to enjoy as they want rather than giving pressure for study in early age.
Childhood is the best time of life, which is full of enjoyment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of the elders.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not need to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
until they are six or seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, whereas other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as early as possible. As per my opinion, schooling in early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
can play crucial role in
overall
development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will illustrate the advantage of going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of the children.

Childhood is the time when human develop their most of the habit,
therefore
if we look at social aspect, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
interact with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
other than their family.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to nursery at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of four or five at least for two or three hours a day. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-schooling
develops the habit of staying away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and meeting new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them during their
first
standard to focus on study and other activity
rather
than missing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, when they actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
academic education.

Moreover
, In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their schooling, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mind games and physical games with the basic study and it is necessary for physical and mental development. Such kind of development may not be possible even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are playing games at home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they are with their friends.

In conclusion
, by considering all these advantages, it is crucial to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. At the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to enjoy as they want
rather
than giving pressure for study in early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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