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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.7

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 7
Some would argue that the period spent during adolescent age is the merriest phase of individuals' lives, while others say that grown-up people are the ones who enjoy more though they have huge liabilities. Although adults are financially independent to manage own expenses, I believe that teenagers enjoy their life in a real sense due to the privilege of ample amount of free time. On the one hand, grown- up persons are not dependent on others for buying things of their choices. They earn money and spend in whatever way they want. Many matured people get sufficient fund which comes from their jobs and businesses that makes them completely self-reliant in terms of earning money. For instance, a study conducted in 2019 by Economic express revealed that 85% of adults make enough money to meet their expenses. However, I believe that adults are tied up because of their work related responsibilities and can't make enough time for themselves. On the other hand, teenagers have a lot of free time to do things which they like. They spend some hours at the schools and colleges but after that, they go out to play, follow their hobbies and move around with their friends. They get a lot of holidays during festivals which is thoroughly enjoyed by them. For example, a recent report published by Daily mails in England found that adolescents spend 40% of their time in playing games and roaming with mates. I believe that teenagers can have fun on their own will due to the abundance of time-freedom. In conclusion, although grown- up people have no financial crunch, adolescents have sufficient leisure time and enjoy their life thoroughly than elders.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that the period spent during adolescent age is the merriest phase of individuals'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, while others say that grown-up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are the ones who enjoy more though they have huge liabilities. Although adults are
financially
independent to manage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
expenses, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
enjoy their life in a real sense due to the privilege of ample amount of free time.

On the one hand, grown- up persons are not dependent on others for buying things of their choices. They earn money and spend in whatever way they want.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
matured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient fund which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from their jobs and businesses that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them completely self-reliant in terms of earning money.
For instance
, a study conducted in 2019 by Economic express revealed that 85% of adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their expenses.
However
, I believe that adults
are tied
up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their work related responsibilities and can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do things which they like. They spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hours at the schools and colleges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after that, they go out to play, follow their hobbies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around with their friends. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
holidays during festivals which is
thoroughly
enjoyed by them.
For example
, a recent report published by Daily mails in England found that adolescents spend 40% of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in playing games and roaming with mates. I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can have fun on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
will due to the abundance of time-freedom.

In conclusion
, although grown- up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have no financial crunch, adolescents have sufficient leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and enjoy their life
Use "(thoroughly)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
thoroughly
than elders.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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