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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 2
It is a widely held belief that the young age is the best age to enjoy our lives. But, at the same time there is also a strong counterargument amongst some sections of peoples that you will be happy more when you grow up a part of your works and struggles. However, I am of the opinion that this is a matter to be debated in light of several factors before any conclusion is drawn. It is generally believed that the people between 12 to 19 years of age will have a happy living. One of the main reasons why this view is mainly held is that at that point of age, we will stay with our parents and the love towards us is more from everyone. Despite, what you have done, they always excuse us. In the same vein, the proponents for this statement also claim that there are no boundaries for our joy and no pressure will be there for us. Last, but not far from the least, the advocates of this view drawn strength from the fact that the energy levels of adolescents are high and the curiosity is also more so they enjoy every moment in that era by neglecting the every problem they face. On the other hand, there are certain groups of people who vehemently contend that, many people will enjoy and live happily when they come out from adolescent period and enter into the next lots of living. The principal most reason why they are favouring this idea is that, they will meet lots of people in that age so they create new memories and will have some fresh fun. Moreover, apologists of people who states that grown persons have more fun than any other aged individual posit that, they have enough economy to live the life and there will be no one to defend your life despite of your works. Thus, it is evident from all the discussions till now that both the arguments carry strength and significance and neither can be refuted outright. Nonetheless, I personally subscribe to the proportion that the age between 12-18years is the perfect age that we create plenty of memories and happiness. Because, in that year we are with full energy and with the purity of mind, we just share every moment and our main motive at that age is to be happy, so we will make every moment price fell.
It is a
widely
held belief that the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
to enjoy our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, at the same time there is
also
a strong counterargument amongst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sections of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
that you will be happy more when you grow up a part of your works and struggles.
However
, I am of the opinion that this is a matter to
be debated
in light of several factors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any conclusion
is drawn
.

It is
generally
believed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 12 and 19".
between 12 to 19
years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
will have a happy living. One of the main reasons why this view is
mainly
held is that at that point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, we will stay with our parents and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
towards us is more from everyone. Despite, what you have done, they always excuse us. In the same vein, the proponents for this statement
also
claim that there are no boundaries for our joy and no pressure will be there for us. Last,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not far from the least, the advocates of this view drawn strength from the fact that the energy levels of adolescents are high and the curiosity is
also
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they enjoy every moment in that era by neglecting the every problem they face.

On the other hand
, there are certain groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
vehemently
contend that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will enjoy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out from adolescent period and enter into the
next
lots of living. The principal most reason why they are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is that, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they create new memories and will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fresh fun.
Moreover
, apologists of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who states that grown persons have more fun than any other aged individual posit that, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
economy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the life and there will be no one to defend your life
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
your works.

Thus
, it is evident from all the discussions till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that both the arguments carry strength and significance and neither can
be refuted
outright. Nonetheless, I
personally
subscribe to the proportion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
between 12-18years is the perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
that we create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of memories and happiness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, in that year we are with full energy and with the purity of mind, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
share every moment and our main motive at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is to be happy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
every moment price fell.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
405 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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