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In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict their individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks? v.4

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict their individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks? v. 4
There is an increase in use of video surveillance in many cities while people criticise that it reduces their privacy. I personally believe that the merits of video cameras are more in comparison to demerits because it helps in the detection of criminals and protection of property. To initiate with, the burglars and thefts are easily caught by the use of security measures in public sectors as digital cameras continuously monitor each and every activity in the area of approach. For instance, pickpockets and shoplifters are less likely to operate in those regions where they know that they are being watched. As a result, video cameras provide valuable support with material evidence to police officers to catch and prosecute offenders which will lead to the safety of cities. Probing further, security measures play an important role in the safety procedures of property as video camera surveillance helps in keeping a check on the everyday activities happening in that particular area. To illustrate, nowadays every educational institution, hospitals and other businesses sectors use this approach of safety to a large extent in order to take care of their property. Effectively, people can go anywhere, far from their homes, without taking tension of their belongings. On the flip side, the personal liberty of individuals is influenced by the use of video surveillance because people think that they are constantly being watched by the authorities and their every moment is captured. To exemplify, A report published by "THE TRIBUNE" on 14th March 2018 revealed that more than 70% of the job employees is fed up due to these safety concerns. Subsequently, it curtails the freedom of people, that's made them feel unsecured and also workers are not able to enjoy their leisure time properly. To recapitulate, it seems that we gain more from the CCTV invention as it controls the rate of delinquency as well as protect our confidential property than the lose from the enhanced security.
There is an increase in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
surveillance in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'criticise' is British English.
criticise
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
their privacy. I
personally
believe that the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
are more
in comparison
to demerits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the detection of criminals and protection of property.

To initiate with, the burglars and thefts are
easily
caught by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of security measures in public sectors as digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
continuously
monitor each and every activity in the area of approach.
For instance
, pickpockets and shoplifters are less likely to operate in those regions where they know that they are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
provide valuable support with material evidence to police officers to catch and prosecute offenders which will lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
of cities.

Probing
further
, security measures play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
procedures of property as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
surveillance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in keeping a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on the everyday activities happening in that particular area. To illustrate, nowadays every educational institution, hospitals and other businesses sectors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this approach of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
to a large extent in order to take care of their property.
Effectively
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can go anywhere, far from their homes, without taking tension of their belongings.

On the flip side, the personal liberty of individuals
is influenced
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
surveillance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they are
constantly
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by the authorities and their every moment
is captured
. To exemplify, A report published by
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
THE TRIBUNE
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
on 14th March 2018 revealed that more than 70% of the job employees
is fed
up due to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
concerns.
Subsequently
, it curtails the freedom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, that's made them feel unsecured and
also
workers are not able to enjoy their leisure time
properly
.

To recapitulate, it seems that we gain more from the CCTV invention as it controls the rate of delinquency
as well
as protect our confidential property than the
Did you mean "loose" (adjective) or "loss" (noun)?
lose
from the enhanced security.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict their individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks? v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
324 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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