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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.5

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 5
In this present contemporary world, part of the society believes that middle age brings greater satisfaction, while, others feel that young age brings more happiness. In my opinion, adult age is an important stage of life where people feel happier when they achieve their life goals. This essay will elucidate both views and provides an opinion. In the first place, young age has several factors that bring happiness to one's life. As no one will be able to bring back the time what they have already spent, teenage is the most precious stage of life, where every individual wants to enjoy their life to the fullest. Below are some of the factors that bring happiness. Firstly, student life with college days, friends & social life. Secondly, there are no major responsibilities and burdens that they should bother about. Last but not least, the outcomes of education, risk taking attitude and out of box thinking gives them great joy for celebration. In the second place, the age at which the responsibilities brings happiness to life with an inner satisfaction. Adult age is where, each individual will realise what is their current status in the society, and will try to set their direction towards happiness. Important factors that bring happiness to one's life at this juncture are, primarily, achievements like acquiring a job, choosing the life partner & Planning for a family. Secondarily, greater satisfaction comes when they are able to guide their children in the right direction. On top of that, they have every right to spend the money that they earned. In conclusion, Even though, teenage brings so much happiness to one's life. Adult age is the duration, where each individual will realise that the real happiness lies in achieving goals and visions they have dreamt of.
In this present contemporary world, part of the society believes that middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
greater satisfaction, while, others feel that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. In my opinion, adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel happier when they achieve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
goals. This essay will elucidate both views and provides an opinion.

In the
first
place, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
has several factors that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As no one will be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
back the time what they have already spent, teenage is the most precious stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, where every individual wants to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to the fullest. Below are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
factors that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
Firstly
, student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with college days, friends & social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Secondly
, there are no major responsibilities and burdens that they should bother about. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the outcomes of education,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
taking attitude and out of box thinking gives them great joy for celebration.

In the second place, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
at which the responsibilities
You should probably use "bring".
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with an inner satisfaction. Adult
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age
is where, each individual will
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
what is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
status in the society, and will try to set their direction towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Important
factors that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
at this juncture are,
primarily
, achievements like acquiring a job, choosing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
partner & Planning for a family.
Secondarily
, greater satisfaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
when they are able to guide their children in the right direction.
On top of that
, they have every right to spend the money that they earned.

In conclusion
,
Even though
, teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is the duration, where each individual will
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
lies in achieving goals and visions they have dreamt of.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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