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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.10

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 10
It is argued that adolescent age is the happiest period of life while others say that adulthood carries more happiness. Although adults feel happy in their life because this age group gets the freedom to make decisions, I believe that the life of a youngster is better as they need not to worry about anything. On the one hand, people get freedom to decide their future as and when they move to adulthood. This is because individuals can choose their career based on their own interests and preferences as parents do not prefer to interfere in their decisions during this age period. In this age, people are capable enough to make sensible decisions for their future, therefore, independent and successful decisions provide happiness and satisfaction. For example, The Times of India recently asked a number of people if they were happy to get independence to decide their career and most of the people said yes. Despite this, I believe that teenage is the best and happiest period of life On the other hand, youngsters do not get worried about anything because the parents are there to support. Parents take care of their child's needs which can be food, study, and medicines. Therefore, teenagers rely on their parents and can enjoy their life as it comes without worrying about the future. For example, a recent study by the World Health Organisation found that people from the ages of 15-18 feel happier when compared to older age groups. I, therefore, argue that teenage life span provides more area to explore and cherish every moment. In conclusion, although in adult years of life people can decide freely, I believe that life as a teenager is more enjoyable as parents fulfill requirements.
It
is argued
that adolescent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is the happiest period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while others say that adulthood carries more happiness. Although adults feel happy in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of a youngster is better as they need not
Did you mean "worry"?
to worry
about anything.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
freedom to decide their future as and when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to adulthood. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
individuals can choose their career based on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interests and preferences as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not prefer to interfere in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
during this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
period. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sensible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
for their future,
therefore
, independent and successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
provide happiness and satisfaction.
For example
, The Times of India recently asked a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if they were happy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
independence to decide their career and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
said yes. Despite this, I believe that teenage is the best and happiest period of life

On the other hand
, youngsters do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worried about anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are there to support.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
take care of their child's needs which can be food, study, and medicines.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
rely on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and can enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
without worrying about the future.
For example
, a recent study by the World Health
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of 15-18 feel happier when compared to older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups. I,
therefore
, argue that teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span provides more area to explore and cherish every moment.

In conclusion
, although in adult years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can decide
freely
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
is more enjoyable as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
fulfill requirements.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 10

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
288 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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