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Some people think that the only way to have success in business is to have a unique product. What factors, do you think, influence the success of a company? v.2

Some people think that the only way to have success in business is to have a unique product. What factors, do you think, influence the success of a company? v. 2
The question of what makes a business successful will have various responses if you ask from different people. However, there is a notion that a business achieve success when it offers a product with distinct features. Yet, some disagree and believe that the key to a successful business lies in good marketing and customer care. Although I understand the importance of many factors in making a business successful, but believe that the uniqueness and creativity of a product stands above all. Some may argue that a good product will bring value to the customers and thus attract its users like a magnet. A good product will aim to fulfil the needs of its customers in an innovative way. In the process of such efficiency, it will affect growth of its sales and taking larger market share than the products in the competing category, which were unable to satisfy the customers. For example when the iPhone was introduced in the market, it offered unique features to the smartphones users - that its competitors lacked - and took a very large slice of profits in the market. This new smartphone had a better camera, fast RAM, an easy-to-use operating system and good design, among many of its distinct features. Consequently, its manufacturer - the Apple company - became the leader of this industry and drove many other smartphone manufacturers out of business, such as Nokia. On the other hand some advocate the idea that good marketing and customers services are main factors that create a path for a business to succeed. First, for a profit-seeking entity they argue, it is immensely important to have effective marketing campaigns to promote their products or services. As an example, when the advertisements of Coca Cola or Pepsi - the leaders in the soft drinks industry - intensifies, their sales surge accordingly. Secondly, no venture will succeed unless they put customers as their priority, they add. To keep the customers need in the spotlight, a business will find how to respond to customers problems and enhance their products, which will lead them toward their goal of being profitable. Taking this into account, large corporations have dedicated teams to identify problems and provide solutions to their customers. In conclusion, it is important to note that numerous variables contribute in the success of a business. Good customers relations and marketing are important variables out of that pool. However, an exceptional product will never bring failure to a business.
The question of what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
successful will have various responses if you ask from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
, there is a notion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
achieve success when it offers a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
with distinct features.
Yet
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagree and believe that the key to a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
lies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
care. Although I understand the importance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors in making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
successful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
believe that the uniqueness and creativity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
stands
above all
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "argues".
argue
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will bring value to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
and
thus
attract its users like a magnet. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will aim to fulfil the needs of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
Consider replacing "in an innovative way" with the adverb for "innovative"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an innovative way
. In the process of such efficiency, it will affect growth of its sales and taking larger market share than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the competing category, which were unable to satisfy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
For example
when the iPhone
was introduced
in the market, it offered unique features to the smartphones users
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
that its competitors lacked
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
and took a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large slice of profits in the market. This new smartphone had a better camera,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
RAM, an easy-to-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
operating system and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
design, among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of its distinct features.
Consequently
, its manufacturer
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
became the leader of this industry and drove
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other smartphone manufacturers out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, such as Nokia.

On the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advocate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
services are main factors that create a path for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to succeed.
First
, for a profit-seeking entity they argue, it is
immensely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
campaigns to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or services. As an example, when the advertisements of Coca Cola or Pepsi
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the leaders in the soft
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "drinks'" or "drink's"?
drinks
industry
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
intensifies, their sales surge
accordingly
.
Secondly
, no venture will succeed unless they put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
as their priority, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
need in the spotlight, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
will find how to respond to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
problems and enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which will lead them toward their goal of being profitable. Taking this into account, large corporations have dedicated teams to identify problems and provide solutions to their customers.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to note that numerous variables contribute in the success of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
relations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
variables out of that pool.
However
, an exceptional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will never bring failure to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the only way to have success in business is to have a unique product. What factors, do you think, influence the success of a company? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
410 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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