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Some people think that the modern technology is making people more sociable while others think it is making them less sociable Discuss both the views and give your opinion v.1

Some people think that the modern technology is making people more sociable while others think it is making them less sociable 1
Currently, it is a fact that global warming constitute a major part of earth's problem. The genesis of this issue and the possible intervention of the authorities as well as the people are discussed in this essay. To begin with, the principal causes include emission of CO2 (Carbon dioxide) into the atmosphere together with deforestation; consequently leading to the depletion of the ozone layer that protect the earth from extreme temperatures. The gas is chiefly released by burning of carbon containing energy sources such as gasoline, aviation fuel and coal, which are essential for proper functioning of cars, aeroplanes and electricity generation (in some countries) respectively. Furthermore, deforestation, especially for economic reasons, has also contributed immensely to the atmospheric content of CO2. This is because the trees trap in carbon dioxide in exchange for oxygen, making them a huge reservoir of this gas; therefore feeling the trees would amount to their escape. On the other hand, the dire consequences of global warming can be avoided by ensuring the leadership of the global community have well structured policies that encourage reforestation and preservation of forest reserves, such as the Amazon with enough financial backup. Additionally, each government should invest in renewable energy sources like solar and windmill, for power generation. In the same way, people can contribute their quota using less of their gasoline cars and increased use of public transport, which will reduce the amount of CO2 emissions. To recapitulate, despite global warming, caused by the excess release of CO2, is a very important issue, the government and mankind can curb its further deteriorating effect on our planet. In view of this, it must be given necessary attention to prevent its ravaging aftermath.
Currently
, it is a fact that
global
warming constitute a major part of earth's problem. The genesis of this issue and the possible intervention of the authorities
as well
as the
people
are discussed
in this essay.

To
begin
with, the principal causes include emission of CO2 (Carbon dioxide) into the atmosphere together with deforestation;
consequently
leading to the depletion of the ozone layer that protect the earth from extreme temperatures. The gas is
chiefly
released by burning of carbon containing energy sources such as gasoline, aviation fuel and coal, which are essential for proper functioning of cars,
aeroplanes
and electricity generation (in
some
countries)
respectively
.
Furthermore
, deforestation,
especially
for economic reasons, has
also
contributed
immensely
to the atmospheric content of CO2. This is
because
the trees trap in carbon dioxide in exchange for oxygen, making them a huge reservoir of this gas;
therefore
feeling the trees would amount to their escape.

On the other hand
, the dire consequences of
global
warming can
be avoided
by ensuring the leadership of the
global
community have
well structured
policies that encourage reforestation and preservation of forest reserves, such as the Amazon with
enough
financial backup.
Additionally
, each
government
should invest in renewable energy sources like solar and windmill, for power generation.
In the same way
,
people
can contribute their quota using less of their gasoline cars and increased
use
of public transport, which will
reduce
the amount of CO2 emissions.

To recapitulate, despite
global
warming, caused by the excess release of CO2, is a
very
important
issue, the
government
and mankind can curb its
further
deteriorating effect on our planet. In view of this, it
must
be
given
necessary attention to
prevent
its ravaging aftermath.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the modern technology is making people more sociable while others think it is making them less sociable 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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