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Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.3

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. 3
Due to advanced technology, everything has changed like people's lifestyle, eating habits etc. Similarly, nowadays, they prefer mobile phones and social networking sites to communicate with relatives, but some people think that trend is not healthy for the society; however others say that technology helps us to interact with the new ones. Firstly, technology provides us number of communication modes, that are becoming integral part of our life. In these days, everyone like to talk with their family members over cell phones. People share their feelings towards their loved ones via sending videos and pictures. On the social applications, they find like-minded people and love to chat with them. So, in this way, technology helps us to become sociable. On the other hand, in the old times people had to go there relatives' place to meet them, because there were no means of communication available. As we know that human is a social animal, we cannot live alone, that's why to feel deep connection people want the physical appearance of human beings. Adding to this, on social sites people only interacting with words and multimedia, that can never become a reason deep connection between two individuals. In conclusion, no doubt technology has a number of advantages, but there are some limitations of advanced technology, that cannot be neglected. I think, because of modern technology, people have become more socially active.
Due to advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, everything has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyle, eating habits etc.
Similarly
, nowadays, they prefer mobile phones and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites to communicate with relatives,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that trend is not healthy for the society;
however
others say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to interact with the new ones.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides us number of communication modes, that are becoming integral part of our life. In these days, everyone like to talk with their family members over cell phones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
share their feelings towards their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones via sending videos and pictures. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
applications, they find like-minded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to chat with them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to become sociable.

On the other hand
, in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to go there relatives' place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there were no means of communication available. As we know that human is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
animal, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone, that's why to feel deep connection
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want the physical appearance of human beings. Adding to this, on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
interacting with words and multimedia, that can never become a reason deep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
two individuals.

In conclusion
, no doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has a number of advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitations of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, that cannot
be neglected
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become more
socially
active.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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