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The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone call in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting a reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone call in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.
It is a known fact that increasing population in cities around the world has resulted in different issues that must be addressed. These problems and possible solutions, which should involve both the authorities and the society, are discussed in this essay. To begin with, the increasing public presence in the cities has caused a rise in environmental pollution and crime rate. Human wastes namely faeces, urine and food wastes, accumulate from time to time; consequently leading to the increased presence and proliferation of disease causing micro-organisms as well as parasites. These predispose the community to epidemic illnesses such as cholera, malaria, and polio. Furthermore, the high rate of unemployment usually prompts individuals, especially the youth, to get involved in crime such as armed robbery, house burgling, internet fraud and murder, in order to build a good esteem and to survive. The rise in insecurity may scare away investors and slow down the development of the city. Nevertheless, these negative effects can be reduced to a minimal level when the government invests more in basic amenities like water system and power supply, in rural areas; hereby discouraging urban migration in search of these facilities. In addition, the powers that be need to provide more jobs in proportion of the rising population and their effect. A classic example is the employment of sanitation workers to lower environmental degradation. In the same way, the society can assist the appropriate authorities by making more trade investments in their villages. By this, they will be able to empower their relatives without necessarily transporting them to the city for work. To recapitulate, despite the fact that the increased migration of people into the cities are accompanied by drawbacks, the governing councils together with the individuals can help to discourage this trend. If no adequate measures are put in place, it may lead to serious and uncontrollable societal retardation.
It is a known fact that increasing population in
cities
around the world has resulted in
different
issues that
must
be addressed
. These problems and possible solutions, which should involve both the authorities and the society,
are discussed
in this essay.

To
begin
with, the increasing public presence in the
cities
has caused a rise in environmental pollution and crime rate. Human wastes
namely
faeces
, urine and food wastes, accumulate from time to time;
consequently
leading to the increased presence and proliferation of disease causing micro-organisms
as well
as parasites. These predispose the community to epidemic illnesses such as cholera, malaria, and polio.
Furthermore
, the high rate of unemployment
usually
prompts individuals,
especially
the youth, to
get
involved in crime such as armed robbery,
house
burgling, internet fraud and murder, in order to build a
good
esteem and to survive. The rise in insecurity may scare away investors and slow down the development of the city.

Nevertheless
, these
negative
effects can be
reduced
to a minimal level when the
government
invests more in basic amenities like water system and power supply, in rural areas; hereby discouraging urban migration in search of these facilities.
In addition
, the powers that
be need
to provide more jobs in proportion of the rising population and their effect. A classic example is the employment of sanitation workers to lower environmental degradation.
In the same way
, the society can assist the appropriate authorities by making more trade investments in their villages. By this, they will be able to empower their relatives without
necessarily
transporting them to the city for work.

To recapitulate, despite the fact that the increased migration of
people
into the
cities
are accompanied
by drawbacks, the governing councils together with the individuals can
help
to discourage this trend. If no adequate measures
are put
in place, it may lead to serious and uncontrollable societal retardation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
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IELTS essay The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone call in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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