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Some people think that the media (newspapers) have the right to publish details of people's private life while other's think it should be controlled? Discuss both views. v.2

Some people think that the media (newspapers) have the right to publish details of people's private life while other's think it should be controlled? v. 2
It is believed that the media, especially newspapers, have the freedom to publish news of people's personal life. However, others argue that publication of such news should be controlled. This essay will highlight both points of view and express an opinion at the end. To commence with, newspapers play a vital role to make people aware about what is happening in the world. Mainly, the celebrities and political figures would want to be famous world widely. So, they can allow the newspapers to write articles about their daily routines in order to acquire interest from the mass production. Similarly, the readers also show more interest to read about the famous personalities and their private moments. Therefore, the newspapers mainly focus on the renowned actors, singers, dancers, private life rather than the professional life. This is because many citizens, especially the youth has taken them as a role model. In addition, they have developed the curiosity to know about their favourite stars. For instance, when a newspaper writes about the charitable works of public figures, it helps to develop respect towards them and support in their career. On the other hand, some people think that the reporters should be restricted to publish the news of an individual private moment because every person has the right to enjoy happiness. Next, The news publishers should make news about the current situation of a country rather than interfering other precious events. Following this, the details publication of the actors, singers, athletics, political parties might create negative images on their reputations such as revealing of boyfriend or girlfriend, marriage events and much more. To conclude this, there is a debate among many people that news coverage for a promoting purpose is necessary or it should be controlled. The essay discussed the both views of publishing private details and mandatory to control it.
It
is believed
that the media,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
, have the freedom to publish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's personal life.
However
, others argue that publication of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should
be controlled
. This essay will highlight both points of view and express an opinion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
play a vital role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware about what is happening in the world.
Mainly
, the celebrities and political figures would want to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
world
widely
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
to write articles about their daily routines in order to acquire interest from the mass production.
Similarly
, the readers
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
more interest to read about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
moments.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
mainly
focus on the renowned actors, singers, dancers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
life
rather
than the professional life. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens,
especially
the youth has taken them as a role model.
In addition
, they have developed the curiosity to know about their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
stars.
For instance
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
writes about the charitable works of public figures, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to develop respect towards them and support in their career.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the reporters should
be restricted
to publish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
moment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every person has the right to enjoy happiness.
Next
,

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
publishers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation of a country
rather
than interfering other precious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Following this, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "details'" or "detail's"?
details
publication of the actors, singers, athletics, political parties might create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
images on their reputations such as revealing of boyfriend or girlfriend, marriage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and much more.

To conclude
this, there is a debate among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
coverage for a promoting purpose is necessary or it should
be controlled
. The essay discussed the both views of publishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and mandatory to control it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the media (newspapers) have the right to publish details of people's private life while other's think it should be controlled? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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