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Some people think that the media (newspapers) have the right to publish details of people's private life while other's think it should be controlled? Discuss both views. v.1

Some people think that the media (newspapers) have the right to publish details of people's private life while other's think it should be controlled? v. 1
It is believed by a few individuals that private life of people should be censored publicizing in media like newspaper, television and the internet. Whereas, others express a conflicting viewpoint and say media possess the right to publish it. The key concept of both views shall be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, who could think media have the right to uncover people's private life. Before all else, it reveals another face of well-known people's life which serves the public to comprehend the truth behind their words. It means this step of media clears the tangible aspects of renowned people. MS Dhoni: the untold story, For example, is a movie that indicates the tragic truth of his life and struggles to become successful cricketer that encouraged many people to achieve their goals in life. As a result, a group of people choose their role models and adhere to their footprints to succeed in life. On the other side, some people believe there has been a need for censoring to reveal the private life of people through media. Freedom to enjoy life is one of the key elements for people either person is famous and ordinary. It suggests that every time presenting details of private life ruin the freedom o legendary people who means they are under observation through media. For instance, 20 to 25% of marriages of famous people are shown on television, published in newspapers which describe many things from their life. Therefore, many people start consistent things that are done by their role models and face problems in life. In conclusion, many people experience conflicts over the media showcase. Some observe the media have the right to publicize the personal lives of individuals because it motivates some people. However, others think it ought to be censored.
It
is believed
by a few individuals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be censored
publicizing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like newspaper, television and the internet. Whereas, others express a conflicting viewpoint and say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
possess the right to publish it. The key concept of both views shall
be discussed
in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, who could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have the right to uncover
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
all else, it reveals another face of well-known
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which serves the public to comprehend the truth behind their words. It means this step of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
clears the tangible aspects of renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. MS
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dhoni
: the untold story,
For example
, is a movie that indicates the tragic truth of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and struggles to become successful cricketer that encouraged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to achieve their goals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
As a result
, a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose their role models and adhere to their footprints to succeed in life.

On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe there has been a need for censoring to reveal the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Freedom to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is one of the key elements for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
either person is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and ordinary. It suggests that every time presenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
ruin the freedom o legendary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "mean"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
means
they are under observation through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
For instance
, 20 to 25% of marriages of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are shown
on television, published in newspapers which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
consistent things that
are done
by their role models and face problems in life.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
experience conflicts over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
showcase.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
observe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have the right to publicize the personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it motivates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it ought to
be censored
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people think that the media (newspapers) have the right to publish details of people's private life while other's think it should be controlled? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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