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Some people think that the media newspapers have the right to publish details of people s private life while other s think it should be controlled Discuss both views v.1

Some people think that the media newspapers have the right to publish details of people s private life while other s think it should be controlled 1
In the past, students were likely to do a university degree in their hometown, but they have a better chance to study overseas today. This essay will discuss the major benefits and drawbacks of this transformation. There are several plus points of studying abroad. First of all, students can gain great experiences by learning from different cultures. To explain, they will get to meet classmate, making contact with them. Another positive aspect of studying in other countries is that students may acquire a second or third language. Knowing other languages, especially English and Chinese are extremely useful as they are mainly used in the world of business. For example, Thai people who have a degree from the UK will skilful in using English, and they might easier get careers than other candidates. On the other hand, studying abroad has a number of downturns. One negative aspect is that it requires a huge amount of money for tuition fees. If students study MBA in London, the UK, they are going to pay more than 20, 000 pounds for this course. Compared with studying the same course in their own country, the total fees probably half of that. The following downside of studying overseas is that students have to live far from their family and friends. This can make them extremely homesick. Also, when they have personal problems, they have no one to talk to. Conversely, they can always discuss problems with their parents and friends, it they study in their hometown. In conclusion, studying abroad is a two-edge sword, meaning it has pros and cons. While it makes students know more about cultures and proficient in a second or third language, it is costly and makes students live far from their family and friends.
In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were likely to do a university degree in their hometown,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have a better chance to study overseas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. This essay will discuss the major benefits and drawbacks of this transformation.

There are several plus points of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can gain great experiences by learning from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
classmate, making contact with them. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may acquire a second or third language. Knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
languages,
especially
English and Chinese are
extremely
useful as they are
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the world of business.
For example
, Thai
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have a degree from the UK will
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
in using English, and they might easier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
careers than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
candidates.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad has a number of downturns. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect is that it requires a huge amount of money for tuition fees. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
study MBA in London, the UK, they are going to pay more than 20, 000 pounds for this course. Compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
the same course in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country, the total fees
probably
half of that. The following downside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far from their family and friends. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
extremely
homesick.
Also
, when they have personal problems, they have no one to talk to.
Conversely
, they can always discuss problems with their parents and friends,
Consider adding a comma here.
it
they study in their hometown.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad is a two-edge sword, meaning it has pros and cons. While it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
know more about cultures and proficient in a second or third language, it is costly and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far from their family and friends.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the media newspapers have the right to publish details of people s private life while other s think it should be controlled 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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