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Some people think that the media have to right to publish detail of people’s view, while other thinks it should be controlled. Discuss both views. v.1

Some people think that the media have to right to publish detail of people’s view, while other thinks it should be controlled. v. 1
There is a conflicting opinion about publication rights in the media industry. While some believe that they are entitled to publicise the people's viewpoint, others think that there should be restrictions on the level of what they can make known to the public. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument. To begin with, it is often considered by some people that the media have a right to broadcast people's opinion because they have access to question people during or after an incident. This simply means that the populace are updated on the thoughts of the populace on matters arising in the society, by relying on what they read either on newspaper, news or social media. Consequently, it would help broaden people's knowledge on issues as well as how to tackle it. To illustrate, in the recent salary negotiation between Nigeria Labour Congress and the government, civil servants aired their views during an interview with Channels representative and they were publicized. Contrary to this, some people think that a limit should be made on what they make known to the populace. The reason is that it would prevent creating a negative impression about the country since some opinions might be biased. In other words, if it is a partial statement made due to political interest, then it would help to avoid instilling wrong impression in the person's mind or even scaring foreign investors. In Nigeria, for instance, during the Boko Haram insurgence, the media created did not create an impression that the whole country was unsafe especially the Northern part of the country. As a result of this, so many multinational companies located in that part of the country did not close down. Therefore, a limit to what should be publicized should be made. In conclusion, although some people feel the media should broadcast people's view, there are people who think that this information should be censored. Despite the fact that people could widen their knowledge through it, it could also affect the economic level of the country when it results to unemployed citizens.
There is a conflicting opinion about publication rights in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
industry. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that they
are entitled
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'publicise' is British English.
publicise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
viewpoint, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there should be restrictions on the level of what they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
known to the public. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have a right to broadcast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have access to question
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
during or after an incident. This
simply
means that the populace
are updated
on the thoughts of the populace on matters arising in the society, by relying on what they read either on newspaper, news or social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Consequently
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
broaden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
knowledge on issues
as well
as how to tackle it. To illustrate, in the recent salary negotiation between Nigeria
Possible spelling mistake. 'Labour' is British English.
Labour
Congress and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, civil servants aired their views during an interview with Channels
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
representative and
they were
Do not mix variants of the same word ('publicize' and 'publicise') within a single text.
publicized
.

Contrary to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a limit should
be made
on what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
known to the populace. The reason is that it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
creating a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impression about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opinions might
be biased
.
In other words
, if it is a partial statement made due to political interest, then it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to avoid instilling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
impression in the person's mind or even scaring foreign investors. In Nigeria,
for instance
, during the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Boko
Possible spelling mistake found.
Haram
insurgence, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
created did not create an impression that the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
was unsafe
especially
the Northern part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
As a result
of this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
located in that part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
did not close down.
Therefore
, a limit to what should be
Do not mix variants of the same word ('publicize' and 'publicise') within a single text.
publicized
should
be made
.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should broadcast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
view, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this information should
be censored
. Despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could widen their knowledge through it, it could
also
affect the economic level of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
when it results to unemployed citizens.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Some people think that the media have to right to publish detail of people’s view, while other thinks it should be controlled. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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