Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together, while others think that people and communities become more isolated. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.7

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together, while others think that people and communities become more isolated. v. 7
Exercise in gyms is undoubtedly one of the most beneficial activities for human well-being. However, nowadays, people keep themselves in-between four walls of the house instead of going out to the gym and walking. This essay will discuss the problems of well-being and poor social lifestyle which are common and suggest viable solutions to combat these such as workout and maintain a social life. Humanity might be in whole a lot of wellness trouble if they don't abandon an inactive lifestyle. There is no exaggeration to say that people are suffering from terrible fitness-related stumbling blocks and worse social lifestyle. Due to a hectic work hours schedule, people are not getting point for exercise, walking, cycling and they spend most of the point in front of the computer and as a result lose their healthiness. To exemplify, people are going through obesity, poor vision and many more illnesses. In leisure point, today's generation waste their point playing video games, watching movies. Therefore, they almost cut-down their link with society. According to a research paper, this situation will worsen in the future. By contrast, there are two ways that can be used to tackle these issues such as regular physical activity and maintaining a social lifestyle can be vital remedies for these problems. After working hours, going to the gym, performing yoga, meditation, walking can improve a well-being system rapidly because these improve the blood circulation of the body which makes people fit. For instance, the world is highly conscious about well-being and they more concentrated towards it. People celebrate yoga day worldwide, which depicts inclination toward well-being. What is more, People should go out into parks, community centres, so they will be socialized. As such, they feel relaxed and enthusiastic after busy working hours. In conclusion, leading sedentary habits give birth to numerous problems related to well-being and social life as well. This essay revealed two problems brought by sedentary patterns, which are well-being problem and destructive social lifestyle. This essay also suggested regular physical activity and maintaining a social lifestyle as two remedies.
Exercise in gyms is
undoubtedly
one of the most beneficial activities for human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-being
.
However
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves in-between four walls of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
instead
of going out to the gym and walking. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-being
and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
which are common and suggest viable solutions to combat these such as workout and maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life.

Humanity might be in whole
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
wellness trouble if they don't abandon an inactive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. There is no exaggeration to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from terrible fitness-related stumbling blocks and worse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. Due to a hectic work hours schedule,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
for exercise, walking,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cycling and
they spend most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
in front of the computer and
as a result
lose their healthiness. To exemplify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are going through obesity, poor vision and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more illnesses. In leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
playing video games, watching movies.
Therefore
, they almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-down their link with society. According to a research paper, this situation will worsen in the future.

By contrast, there are two ways that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to tackle these issues such as regular physical activity and maintaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
can be vital remedies for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. After working hours, going to the gym, performing yoga, meditation, walking can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-being
system
rapidly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the blood circulation of the body which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fit.
For instance
, the world is
highly
conscious about
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
well-being and
they more concentrated towards it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
celebrate yoga day worldwide, which depicts inclination toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-being
.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should go out into parks, community
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will
be socialized
. As such, they feel relaxed and enthusiastic after busy working hours.

In conclusion
, leading sedentary habits give birth to numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-being
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life
as well
. This essay revealed two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
brought by sedentary patterns, which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and destructive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. This essay
also
suggested regular physical activity and maintaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
as two remedies.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together, while others think that people and communities become more isolated. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts