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The table below gives information on households with a regular use of a car in Great Britain from 1971 to 2007. v.1

The table below gives information on households with a regular use of a car in Great Britain from 1971 to 2007. v. 1
In current company, the politics, should finance public services instead of expending its budget on arts, melody and theatre. In terms of widely-held view among many people, this salary can be utilised to fulfil the increasing necessity for public services like hospitals and schools. I completely agree with this point of view and I will support for my opinions with reasons and examples. Initially, the ministry should definitely allocate a broad part of its budget on public services. A huge part of the main problems of the population to be tackled falls in this sector of the economy like schools, hospitals and roads. The main cause why public services need adequate funding is that they satisfy the basic needs of the nation, while any country can live without soul concerts, but absence of medicine will create significant problems. To exemplify, the property, utilise for a hospital equipped with a computed tomography scan that can detect the disease at an early stage and reduce mortality is considered re-spent in the civilization. That’s why in the first place a community should adequately allocate funds for public services. On the other hand, art, tune, and theatre do not waste cash since having the opportunity to visit museums, watch movies, and listen to opera is a comprehensive form of relaxation. Thus, art sector is also important for the world and should not be neglected. Nevertheless, this is not enough practice as well as the union should not outlay on a wide variety sector. Ordinary explanation - the role of artists and musicians is secondary, since they are not curing diseases or building houses, on top of that if they themselves need these species of service. In conclusion, although the notion that investing in the arts and rock is not the right way to spend capital is controversial, I can confidently say that the regime needs to invest more in public services. It is obvious that the authority can do nothing until it meets the needs of the community, which are more significant than entertainment.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, the politics, should finance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
instead
of expending its budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, melody and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. In terms of
widely
-held view among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, this salary can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
to fulfil the increasing necessity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
like hospitals and schools. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view and I will support for my opinions with reasons and examples.

Initially
, the ministry should definitely allocate a broad part of its budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. A huge part of the main problems of the population to
be tackled
falls in this sector of the economy like schools, hospitals and roads. The main cause why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
adequate funding is that they satisfy the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the nation, while any country can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without soul concerts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
absence of medicine will create significant problems. To exemplify, the property,
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
for a hospital equipped with a computed tomography scan that can detect the disease at an early stage and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
mortality
is considered
re-spent in the civilization. That’s why in the
first
place a community should
adequately
allocate funds for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, tune, and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
do not waste cash since having the opportunity to visit museums,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies, and listen to opera is a comprehensive form of relaxation.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
sector is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the world and should not
be neglected
.
Nevertheless
, this is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
practice
as well
as the union should not outlay on a wide variety sector. Ordinary explanation
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the role of artists and musicians is secondary, since they are not curing diseases or building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
,
on top of that
if they themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
these species of service.

In conclusion
, although the notion that investing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and rock is not the right way to spend capital is controversial, I can
confidently
say that the regime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to invest more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. It is obvious that the authority can do nothing until it meets the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the community, which are more significant than entertainment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The table below gives information on households with a regular use of a car in Great Britain from 1971 to 2007. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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