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The table below gives information on UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007 v.1

The table below gives information on UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007 v. 1
People have different views on promotions of high positions. Some think that internal employees should be given a high position, whereas, others are in favour of hiring employees from outside. I agree with the latter view as external personnel possesses higher qualification and years’ of experience. High skill is an imperative cause behind hiring a new employee for a higher position and it demands an employee who is well qualified. Nowadays, youngsters go to the world-famous universities to pursue higher education in order to have such posts in the company. Along with this, they tend to do many courses which help them acquiring promotions. Nonetheless, it is true that they enter into the workforce, they are given such posts due to an advance educational level. For example, the Times of India reported in March 2020 revealed that in Google, many higher positions are filled with new talented employees who possess an extra degree rather than having an only university degree. Another reason for offering the managerial post to the outsider is many years’ of experience as such workers do not need any training session. It is undoubtedly true when a company looks for employees to give higher position they not only look for their experience years, but also they should be multi-tasked because such skills ultimately determine the fate of the company. For instance, a recent study by Harvard University found that 49% of personnel are proven worthy and reliable to their post as they don’t have any training session. In conclusion, although some believe employees within the company should be given a high post due to working for many years in the company, I think well qualified and experience is more reliable for the managerial post.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views on promotions of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
, whereas, others are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
from outside. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view as external personnel possesses higher qualification and years’ of experience.

High
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is an imperative cause behind hiring a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
for a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
and it demands an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
who is well qualified. Nowadays, youngsters go to the world-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
universities to pursue higher education in order to have such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
posts
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. Along with this, they tend to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
courses which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
The verb 'many' is used with an infinitive: "to acquire" or "acquire".
acquiring
promotions. Nonetheless, it is true that they enter into the workforce, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
posts
due to an advance educational level.
For example
,
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
reported in March 2020 revealed that in Google,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
are filled
with new talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who possess an extra degree
rather
than having an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
university degree.

Another reason for offering the managerial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
to the outsider is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years’ of experience as such workers do not need any training session. It is
undoubtedly
true when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
looks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to give higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
look for their experience years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they should be multi-tasked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
ultimately
determine the fate of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
For instance
, a recent study by Harvard University found that 49% of personnel
are proven
worthy and reliable to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
as they don’t have any training session.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
due to working for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
well qualified and experience is more reliable for the managerial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The table below gives information on UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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