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some people think that internet has brought people closer together, while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

some people think that internet has brought people closer together, while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. v. 3
The Internet has been in widespread popular use for just over two decades and serve as a major tool for communication. Some people say that the Internet has narrowed the distance among people, while there are others argue that it isolates people from real society. In this essay, I will look at both sides of the argument and give my opinion. On the one hand, it is widely accepted that our relationship is closer thanks to the Internet. The Internet helps people to maintain existing ties, often to strengthen them. A large amount of the communication that takes place online is often with the same set of friends and family who are also contacted in person and by phone. Social networks such as Facebook, twitter enable us to find and contact with our high school friends who we have since lost touch with. Moreover, people around the global are online and using the same websites, which gives both individuals and businesses more opportunities than ever before to extend our network and reach out to people we may otherwise never meet. For example, on Facebook, million groups about music, fashion, sport, health, . . . Have been built so that people can easily make friends and chat with someone who share the same interests with them. Obviously, the Internet does bring us closer together as it offers a platform through which we can interact with people we already know as well as the unknown. On the other hand, cyber is said to damage social connections of its users. Social media sites can make it more difficult for us to distinguish between the meaningful relationships we foster in the real world, and the numerous casual relationships formed through social media. By focusing so much of our point and psychic energy on these less meaningful relationships, our most important connections may weaken. The internet seduces people into spending time online at the expense of while spent with friends and family. Internet-addicts tend to sit at home and not going out to talk to their neighbours across the streets, visiting relatives or travelling with friends. Hence, it is clearly shown that the internet sucks people away from in-person contact and fostering real-world disconnection. In conclusion, although it is undeniable that online network has brought us enormous useful services, I hold the view that cyber has ruined our interaction with reality. It is high time local communities try to encourage people to take part in local activities for a better society developer.
The Internet has been in widespread popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over two decades and serve as a major tool for communication.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that the Internet has narrowed the distance among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while there are others argue that it isolates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from real society. In this essay, I will look at both sides of the argument and give my opinion.

On the one hand, it is
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
is closer thanks to the Internet. The Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to maintain existing ties,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
to strengthen them. A large amount of the communication that takes place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
with the same set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and family who are
also
contacted in person and by phone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networks such as Facebook, twitter enable us to find and contact with our high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who we have since lost touch with.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the global are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and using the same websites, which gives both individuals and businesses more opportunities than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to extend our network and reach out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we may
otherwise
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
For example
, on Facebook,
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
groups about music, fashion, sport, health
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Have
been built
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and chat with someone who share the same interests with them.
Obviously
, the Internet does bring us closer together as it offers a platform through which we can interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we already know
as well
as the unknown.

On the other hand
, cyber
is said
to damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
connections of its users.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
media sites can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more difficult for us to distinguish between the meaningful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
we foster in the real world, and the numerous casual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
formed through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media. By focusing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much of our point and psychic energy on these less meaningful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
, our most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
connections may weaken. The internet seduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into spending time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
at the expense of while spent with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and family. Internet-addicts tend to sit at home and not going out to talk to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
across the streets, visiting relatives or travelling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Hence
, it is
clearly
shown that the internet sucks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
away from in-person contact and fostering real-world disconnection.

In conclusion
, although it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
network has brought us enormous useful services, I hold the view that cyber has ruined our interaction with reality. It is high time local communities try to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in local activities for a better society developer.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that internet has brought people closer together, while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
417 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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