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Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while other think that people and community are become more isolated Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while other think that people and community are become more isolated v. 2
In this contemporary world, the usage of internet has grown very rapidly. We use it in our daily life, such as for communicating with people, reading news or for booking flight tickets. It is commonly believed by some people that, people are getting closer with the help of the internet, while others are of opinion that it isolates people from real society. In this essay, I will discuss the both the views and finally give my opinion. On the one hand, the internet has become an essential part in our life. It has made our life easier in terms of communication. It helps people to maintain the existing ties, often strengthen them. A large amount of communication that happens online is often with the same set of friends and family who are also contacted by phone. Social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter has made communication a lot easier. For instance, people can contact their high school friends who we have since lost contact using these sites. In addition, it helps to connect people with similar interests and share ideas. For example, on Facebook, million groups about music, health, sports have been built so that people can easily make friends and chat with someone who share common interest. In short, the internet can bring people together where it offers a platform to connect to people who we already know as well as unknown On the other hand, cyber is damaging the society relationship. Social media sites are making people to have false relationships that do not last long. It also makes difficult to distinguish between the real and fake relationship. Because of the internet people are spending more time online at the expense of time spent with family and friends. For example, internet addicts’ people to sit at home and not going out to talk to their neighbours across the streets, visiting relatives or travelling with friends. In other words, the internet is creating a distance between the people and hampering their relationship. In conclusion, I hold to the view that the internet has ruined our interaction with reality. People should be wise enough, while using it. They should have balance between online and in person relations
In this contemporary world, the usage of internet has grown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapidly
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in our daily life, such as for communicating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, reading news or for booking flight tickets. It is
commonly
believed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting closer with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the internet, while others are of opinion that it isolates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from real society. In this essay, I will discuss the both the views and
finally
give my opinion.

On the one hand, the internet has become an essential part in our life. It has made our life easier in terms of communication. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to maintain the existing ties,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
strengthen them. A large amount of communication that happens online is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
with the same set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
also
contacted by phone. Social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter has made communication a lot easier.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can contact their high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
we have since lost contact using these sites.
In addition
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with similar interests and share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
For example
, on Facebook,
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
groups about music, health, sports have
been built
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and chat with someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
share common interest. In short, the internet can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together where it offers a platform to connect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
we already know
as well
as
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
unknown


On the other hand
, cyber is damaging the society relationship. Social media sites are making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have false relationships that do not last long. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
difficult to distinguish between the real and fake relationship.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending more time online at the expense of time spent with family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
For example
, internet addicts’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to sit at home and not going out to talk to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
across the streets, visiting relatives or travelling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
In other words
, the internet is creating a distance between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and hampering their relationship.

In conclusion
, I hold to the view that the internet has ruined our interaction with reality.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should be wise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, while using it. They should have balance between online and in person
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
relations
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while other think that people and community are become more isolated v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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