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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to have friends who are intelligent than to have friends who have a good sense of humor. v.365

It is better to have friends who are intelligent than to have friends who have a good sense of humor. v. 365
Many firms ought to offer some time for employees to do some exercises during the working day. In my opinion, exercise plays a key role in human health so it is crucial for companies to take into account the need for physical movement. Firstly, doing sports activities helps employees to reduce their stress and anxiety at work. This is a positive approach to relief their worries or emotions when they face issues in their duty, which also improves their productivity. Sometimes, it is possible that employees may find out the solution when they are doing sports. Additionally, if employees are allowed to utilize flexible hours to do sports, it shows their employers care about their well-being, which would increase high employees' morale in the companies. Secondly, team sports can foster a sense of cooperation when firms motivate their employees to participate in sports activities. This is also likely to cultivate the much stronger connection between employers and employees as well as creating a spirit of competition. Sometimes, colleagues can learn from what they experience during team sport and transfer the skills into be used in their jobs. Doing exercise at work not only maintains and improves employee's well-being, which also develops teamwork. In conclusion, people spend half of their life at work so many firms should take responsibilities for their employee's health. Providing exercise hours for employees could prevent physical or mental issues. If companies make time for sporting activities, it can help to build cooperation and team skills in the workforce through the spirit of competition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
firms ought to offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
during the working day. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
plays a key role in human health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is crucial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to take into account the need for physical movement.

Firstly
, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety at work. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
approach to relief their worries or emotions when they face issues in their duty, which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their productivity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, it is possible that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
may find out the solution when they are doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Additionally
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to utilize flexible hours to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
their employers care about their well-being, which would increase high employees' morale in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Secondly
, team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can foster a sense of cooperation when firms motivate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities. This is
also
likely to cultivate the much stronger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
employers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
as well
as creating a spirit of competition.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, colleagues can learn from what they experience during team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and transfer the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
into be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in their jobs. Doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
at work not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
maintains and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
employee's well-being, which
also
develops teamwork.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend half of their life at work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
firms should take responsibilities for their employee's health. Providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
hours for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
physical or mental issues. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
time for sporting activities, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build cooperation and team
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in the workforce through the spirit of competition.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better to have friends who are intelligent than to have friends who have a good sense of humor. v. 365

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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