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Some people think that the important role of university professors is to do research, others think the main role of them is to educate students. What is your opinion? v.1

Some people think that the important role of university professors is to do research, others think the main role of them is to educate students. What is your opinion? v. 1
It is true that preventative health care is far more efficient than treatment in society. So far, it is considered the onus is on the governments to allocate the large-scale rate of their medical budgets to improve the knowledge of how avoiding sickness. I have a deep conviction that prevention is an optimal measure. From the sanitary perspective, many fatal diseases stem from the lack of sufficient information about sanitation. In statistical term, On account of lacking the potential awareness about the high standard of hygiene either in personal or social life, an assortment of inflectional illnesses and such diseases caused by animals, for instance, Aids, Plague, and even Malaria bring about one hundred thousands of year-round deaths in some societies. However, many developed countries can get these lethal diseases under control or even eradiate them only through investing in education the people about how to protect themselves and their families hygienically. On the other perspective, the treatment cost is mostly far higher than preventive actions. For example, some untreated diseases such as cancer may take a long term to reach its final stage, thus, not only the victims suffer harrowingly in the interim, but also spending a pile of money on curing is completely futile. Therefore, paying out on health education once to society is more profitable than fighting with the illness. In conclusion, the authorities can spend less money and attain more benefits. As for, educating people to make their lives devoid of any sickness with a mere cost once a while leads to wiping out any unhealthy situations. Besides, the rate of illness will come down steadily.
It is true that preventative health care is far more efficient than treatment in society.
So
far, it
is considered
the onus is on the
governments
to allocate the large-scale rate of their medical budgets to
improve
the knowledge of how avoiding sickness. I have a deep conviction that prevention is an optimal measure.

From the sanitary perspective,
many
fatal
diseases
stem from the lack of sufficient information about sanitation. In statistical term, On account of lacking the potential awareness about the high standard of hygiene either in personal or social life, an assortment of inflectional illnesses and such
diseases
caused by animals,
for instance
, Aids, Plague, and even Malaria bring about one
hundred thousands of
year-round deaths in
some
societies.
However
,
many
developed countries
can
get
these lethal
diseases
under control or even
eradiate
them
only
through investing in education the
people
about how to protect themselves and their families
hygienically
.

On the other perspective, the treatment cost is
mostly
far higher than preventive actions.
For example
,
some
untreated
diseases
such as cancer may take a long term to reach its final stage,
thus
, not
only
the victims suffer
harrowingly
in the interim,
but
also
spending a pile of money on curing is completely futile.
Therefore
, paying out on health education once to society is more profitable than fighting with the illness.

In conclusion
, the authorities can spend less money and attain more benefits. As for, educating
people
to
make
their
lives
devoid of any sickness with a mere cost once a while leads to wiping out any unhealthy situations.
Besides
, the rate of illness will
come
down
steadily
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the important role of university professors is to do research, others think the main role of them is to educate students. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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