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growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to The deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to The deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. v. 2
OBESITY IS BECOMING VULNERABLE MENACE ALL AROUND THE WORLD SPECIALLY IN DEVELOPED NATIONS LIKE THE USA. TO TAKLE THE OVERWEIGHT ISSUE. HEALTH CARE SYSTEM HAS MORE PRESSURE BECAUSE OF THE INCREASED NUMBER OF THE OBESE PEOPLE. FEW FOLKS SUGGEST THAT, SCHOOL CAN BE BENEFICIAL MEDIUM TO ENCOURAGE THE CHILDREN FOR HELATHY LIFE BY INCLUDING A HEALTH AWARNESS SUBJECT AS PASRT OF THE STUDY. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS WHY THE INFORMATION SESSION OF WELLNESS AT SCHOOLD PLAY A VITAL ROLE TO DIMINISH THIS ISSUE. THE MAJOR REASON IS THAT SCHOOL IS THE PLACE WHERE STUDENTS SPEND THEIR MOST OF THE TIME THAN HOME. AND ALSO A TEACHER CAN ASSET THEM FOR BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF PHYSICAL WELL BEING. BECAUSE, AFTER A MOTHER, OFFSPRINGS ARE OFTEN OBEY THEIR MENTOR'S COMMANDS. FOR AN EXAMPLE, EDUCATIONAL DEPARMENT IN UK DID A SURVYE WHICH SHOWS THAT SCHOOL PUPILS ARE MORE AWARE AND LIKELY TO LOWER THE OBESITY RISK IF THEY MADE KNOWNS TO ALL THE NEGATIVE IMPACT. FURTHERMORE, CHILDHOOD IS A STAGE WHERE THEY CAN BE GUIDED THROUGH ANY WAY. IF THEY ARE MORE AWARE OF FITNESS SINCE SCHOOLING AGE, THEN THIS TREND CONTINUES FOR FURTHER LIFE AS WELL. SO, IF THEY KNOW HOW TO BALANCE THE WEIGHT BY HAVING NUTRITIONAL FOOD AND DOING SOME EXCERSISE CAN REDUSE THE CHANCES OF BECOMING OBESE. FOR AN INSTANCE, ONE OF THE INDIAN FITNESS ORGANIZATION INTERVIEWED THE HEALTHY YOUGTH AND FOUND THAT A JUVENILES WHO GOT THE PROPER PHYSICAL WELL BEING TRAINING DURING THEIR STUDIES ARE LESS HOWEVER, SOME STUDENTS NEVER FOLLOW ANY RULES AN REGULATIONAS THEY THINK THAT IT IS A WASTE OF TIME BY ATTENDING SUCH LECTURE. AND THEY END UP INCREASEING THEIR WEIGHT DUE TO THE LACK OF INFORMATION WHICH IS THE BIGEST PROBLEM FOR TODAY'S GENERATION. IN CONCLUSION, IF PEOPLE HAVE OBESITY AS HERIDAIETARY DISEASE THAN ON ONE CAN HELP TO ABORT THAT EVENTHOUGH THEY WILLING TO DO SO. BUT IT CAN BE DECREASED TO SOME EXTENT BY MAKING THEM AWAR DURING TH SCHOOLING.
OBESITY IS BECOMING VULNERABLE MENACE ALL AROUND THE WORLD
SPECIALLY
IN DEVELOPED NATIONS LIKE THE USA. TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
TAKLE
THE OVERWEIGHT ISSUE. HEALTH CARE SYSTEM HAS MORE PRESSURE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF THE INCREASED NUMBER OF THE OBESE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
. FEW FOLKS SUGGEST THAT, SCHOOL CAN BE BENEFICIAL MEDIUM TO ENCOURAGE THE CHILDREN FOR
Possible spelling mistake found.
HELATHY
LIFE BY INCLUDING A HEALTH
Possible spelling mistake found.
AWARNESS
SUBJECT AS
Possible spelling mistake found.
PASRT
OF THE STUDY. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS WHY THE INFORMATION SESSION OF WELLNESS AT
Possible spelling mistake found.
SCHOOLD
PLAY A VITAL ROLE TO DIMINISH THIS ISSUE.

THE MAJOR REASON IS THAT SCHOOL IS THE PLACE WHERE STUDENTS SPEND THEIR MOST OF THE TIME THAN HOME. AND
ALSO
A TEACHER CAN ASSET THEM FOR BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF PHYSICAL WELL BEING.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
, AFTER A MOTHER,
Possible spelling mistake found.
OFFSPRINGS
ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OFTEN
OBEY THEIR MENTOR'S COMMANDS. FOR AN EXAMPLE, EDUCATIONAL
Possible spelling mistake found.
DEPARMENT
IN UK DID A
Possible spelling mistake found.
SURVYE
WHICH
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOWS
THAT SCHOOL PUPILS ARE MORE AWARE AND LIKELY TO LOWER THE OBESITY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
RISK
IF THEY MADE
Possible spelling mistake found.
KNOWNS
TO ALL THE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
NEGATIVE
IMPACT.

FURTHERMORE
, CHILDHOOD IS A STAGE WHERE THEY CAN
BE GUIDED
THROUGH ANY WAY. IF THEY ARE MORE AWARE OF FITNESS SINCE SCHOOLING AGE, THEN THIS TREND CONTINUES FOR
FURTHER
LIFE
AS WELL
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
, IF THEY KNOW HOW TO BALANCE THE WEIGHT BY HAVING NUTRITIONAL FOOD AND DOING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
Possible spelling mistake found.
EXCERSISE
CAN
Possible spelling mistake found.
REDUSE
THE CHANCES OF BECOMING OBESE. FOR AN INSTANCE, ONE OF THE INDIAN FITNESS ORGANIZATION INTERVIEWED THE HEALTHY
Possible spelling mistake found.
YOUGTH
AND FOUND THAT A JUVENILES WHO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOT
THE PROPER PHYSICAL WELL BEING TRAINING DURING THEIR STUDIES ARE
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
LESS


HOWEVER
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
STUDENTS NEVER FOLLOW ANY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
RULES
AN
Possible spelling mistake found.
REGULATIONAS
THEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
THAT IT IS A WASTE OF TIME BY ATTENDING SUCH LECTURE. AND THEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
END
UP
Possible spelling mistake found.
INCREASEING
THEIR WEIGHT DUE TO THE LACK OF INFORMATION WHICH IS THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
BIGEST
PROBLEM FOR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TODAY
'S GENERATION.

IN CONCLUSION
, IF
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
HAVE OBESITY AS
Possible spelling mistake found.
HERIDAIETARY
DISEASE THAN ON ONE CAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
TO ABORT THAT
Possible spelling mistake found.
EVENTHOUGH
Did you mean "THEY're WILLING", "THEY are WILLING", or "THEY were WILLING"?
THEY WILLING
TO DO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
IT CAN
BE DECREASED
TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
EXTENT BY MAKING THEM
Possible spelling mistake found.
AWAR
DURING TH SCHOOLING.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to The deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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