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129. A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research centers do you recommend for y v.2

129. A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research centers do you recommend for y v. 2
First of all, research and development is key in human evolution. We, as a specie, were able to progress from cave man to business through research and development. In addition, research can also provide our own survival, in which human being are no longer so exposed to natural catastrophes and genetic predestination. Considering the to option given, I will expose the pros and cons, if any, of these two options. Firstly, these two research areas are very important and can be very influentially in any given country. Having a research center in agriculture can provide means for the discovery of new innovating treatments to common diseases, better food products, a mores sustainable agriculture and society and last but not least a more competitive economy. For example, biotechnology has provided ways to feed world population more efficiently than before. Moreover, plant diseases can now be fight in a more efficient way. Having a research center in business can lead a country to have more knowledge or " know-how" in the business area, and therefore have a more competitive and stronger economy, anticipate financial crisis, more jobs and more and better companies. For example the US have a long story in, not only but also, business research were they were able to win the cold war against the so called at the time Soviet Union, by business and political means. In conclusion, I think that both research centers are important for a prosperous country.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and development is key in human evolution. We, as a specie, were able to progress from cave
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and development.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
can
also
provide our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
survival, in which human being are no longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
exposed to natural catastrophes and genetic predestination. Considering the to option
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, I will expose the pros and cons, if any, of these two options.

Firstly
, these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
areas are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
influentially
in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
country. Having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
center in agriculture can provide means for the discovery of new innovating treatments to common diseases, better food products, a mores sustainable agriculture and society and last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least a more competitive economy.
For example
, biotechnology has provided ways to feed world population more
efficiently
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Moreover
, plant diseases can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be fight in a more efficient way. Having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
center in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can lead a country to have more knowledge or
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
know-how&quot
; in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
area, and
therefore
have a more competitive and stronger economy, anticipate financial crisis, more jobs and more and better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
For example
the US have a long story in, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
were they were able to win the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
cold war
against the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
called at the time Soviet Union, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and political means.
In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
centers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a prosperous country.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay 129. A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research centers do you recommend for y v. 2

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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