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Some people think that the government is wasting money money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere

Some people think that the government wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 1
Now-a-days all republic governments create fundings for their every single aspect which relates to their historic revolution. A portion of population believe that the correctional officers from the government unnecessarily investing money on arts while this would be useful for other developments. It is argued that I completely disagree on this with the excuse that art can be a reliable substance for any developing nation. At first, every leader ought to take the needed step to make the existence of their ancient equipments, sculptures, paintings and traditional clothes, gestures etcetra. These sort of things would help the natives to memorise their archieval stuffs like music, literature and dance. For instance if the arts are lively to the people of its country, the upcoming generations will have accurate knowledge about the history of their own motherland. Moreover it must enlarges the country’s human creatures. In addition, regarding today’s globalisation art is one of the most interesting and demandable element which everyone around the world wants to have and enjoy with full of passion. Such a lot of persons have the excitement to witness something visual which came through a person’s imagination. For example, many travelers usually visit all over the world in their vacation period to just pleased their eyes by spotting beautiful artworks. Any continent or province can obtain much appreciation from other unions of the world by strengthening their art sector. To sum up, I am affirming the statement that each and every state must conscious about their creative department which will make them proud at length. Indeed, this substance will be the priceless assets for its own people.
Now
-a-days all republic
governments
create
fundings
for their every single aspect which relates to their historic revolution. A portion of population believe that the correctional officers from the
government
unnecessarily
investing money on
arts
while this would be useful for other developments. It
is argued
that I completely disagree on this with the excuse that
art
can be a reliable substance for any developing nation. At
first
, every leader ought to take the needed step to
make
the existence of their ancient equipments, sculptures, paintings and traditional clothes, gestures
etcetra
.
These sort
of things would
help
the natives to
memorise
their
archieval
stuffs like music, literature and dance.
For instance
if the
arts
are lively to the
people
of its country, the upcoming generations will have accurate knowledge about the history of their
own
motherland.
Moreover
it
must
enlarges
the country’s human creatures.
In addition
, regarding
today
’s
globalisation
art
is one of the most interesting and demandable element which everyone around the world wants to have and enjoy with full of passion. Such
a lot of
persons have the excitement to witness something visual which came through a person’s imagination.
For example
,
many
travelers
usually
visit all over the world in their vacation period to
just
pleased
their eyes by spotting
beautiful
artworks. Any continent or province can obtain much appreciation from other unions of the world by strengthening their
art
sector. To sum up, I am affirming the statement that each and every state
must
conscious about their creative department which will
make
them proud at length.
Indeed
, this substance will be the priceless assets for its
own
people
.
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One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Some people think that the government is wasting money money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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