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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 1
Government spending have been criticized throughout the world on the basis of preferences. These people claim that government wastes money in the field of arts which could be preferably spent on other important areas. This essay will argue why I entirely disagree with this view point despite benefits related to spending on other areas. Many people think that art sector should not be look after by government and budget designated for it is not justified. They think that this money should be spend in different areas such as on education and infrastructure. Education, no doubt is very necessary for every single person as it changes the perspective of person, in addition to that it also improve country’s literacy rate. People also opine that infrastructure of country should be strong and advanced which is also a valid point as good roads promotes tourism. Electricity is a major requirement in this era and many rural people are not being blessed with this facility. For instance, report infers that 40 percent of population in Africa lives without electricity supply. These issues bolstered people that money specified for arts should be spend on the different areas as mentioned to lessen the problems faced by different people irrespective of from where they belong. People, including me and especially artists, have been excessively concerned about government’s spending on arts. This view point is justified as it leads to promotion of culture and artists throughout the world. Many handmade cloths and handicrafts made by small artists which is identity of any region is immensely liked and purchased by tourists from different areas of world. For example, Sindhi culture is described through a shawl known as Ajrak which is very popular. Country’s spending on artists promote their talent and therefore boost the economy as well. If money designated for arts is spent on areas such as education and infrastructure than results will be grave as it will not only be in favourable of economy but also artists will be demoralized, jobless and living would be compromised. Overall, the idea of relocating arts budget is ill-informed, moreover, problems will not only be unsolved but will also have worse outcomes In conclusion, this essay argues that people who favoured spending of money on arts in unreasonable have flawed understanding and underestimate the effects of what they believe. In my opinion, these problems cannot be solved by shifting the budget and making arts sector deprived, as it can be tackled by awareness, team work effort by NGOS and increasing the budget, not by relocating, for education and infrastructure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
have
been criticized
throughout the world on the basis of preferences. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
wastes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
which could be
preferably
spent on other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. This essay will argue why I
entirely
disagree with this view point despite benefits related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on other areas.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
sector should not be look after by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
designated for it is not justified. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be
Consider using the past participle "spent"?
spend
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
such as on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
, no doubt is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary for every single person as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the perspective of person,
in addition
to that it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
country’s literacy rate.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
of country should be strong and advanced which is
also
a valid point as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
roads promotes tourism. Electricity is a major requirement in this era and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
being blessed
with this facility.
For instance
, report infers that 40 percent of population in Africa
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
without electricity supply. These issues bolstered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
specified for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should be
Consider using the past participle "spent"?
spend
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
as mentioned to lessen the problems faced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
irrespective of from where they belong.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
, including me and
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
, have been
excessively
concerned about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. This view point
is justified
as it leads to promotion of culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
throughout the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
handmade cloths and handicrafts made by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
which is identity of any region is
immensely
liked and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by tourists from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of world.
For example
, Sindhi culture is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
through a shawl known as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ajrak
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular. Country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
promote their talent and
therefore
boost the economy
as well
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
designated for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
than results will be grave as it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
of economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
will
be demoralized
, jobless and living would
be compromised
.
Overall
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of relocating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
is ill-informed,
moreover
, problems will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be unsolved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
have worse outcomes

In conclusion
, this essay argues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
in unreasonable have flawed understanding and underestimate the effects of what they believe. In my opinion, these problems cannot
be solved
by shifting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
sector deprived, as it can
be tackled
by awareness, team work effort by
Possible spelling mistake found.
NGOS
and increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
, not by relocating, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
427 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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