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Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. v. 1
Intelligence quotient is entirely dependent on personal capabilities. Many people are of the opinion, that intelligence is, a god gift, while others think, that a person, can become, intelligent by learning. This essay will discuss both points of view and in my view, constant practice, helps in, carving out, an intelligent being. Learning makes, a person, immensely knowledgeable. Therefore, the knowledge gained, through immense hard work, can be utilized, in situations of dire necessity. For example, a person having natural flair, towards the sports can become, an improved athlete, by getting technical instructions from a professional coach. Thus, learning is quintessential for becoming wise. An intelligent person, would become successful, in handling things, only when the understanding of, various things is nurtured continuously. As, an illustration, invention of the bulb, was done by an intelligent man after undergoing a thorough study of science. However, if this, knowledge lacked, then it was impossible to discover artificial light. On the other hand, some people may have better intelligence levels, than their counterparts. For instance, some children, in the world have, tremendous intelligence, for calculating, the mathematical figures, at a faster pace, than, of a calculator. Therefore, the people, do have, innate intelligence qualities, in them, although number of people, found with such tendencies is rare. To summarize, an individual may be intelligent, since birth, however, intelligence, can be spiked by recourse to, continuous tutorials. The people, should try to learn, from any source, they find reliable which will benefit, in improving, their overall thought process.
Intelligence
quotient is
entirely
dependent on personal capabilities.
Many
people
are of the opinion, that
intelligence
is, a god gift, while others
think
, that a
person
, can become,
intelligent
by learning. This essay will discuss both points of view and in my view, constant practice,
helps
in, carving out, an
intelligent
being.

Learning
makes
, a
person
,
immensely
knowledgeable.
Therefore
, the knowledge gained, through immense
hard
work, can
be utilized
, in situations of dire necessity.
For example
, a
person
having natural flair, towards the sports can become, an
improved
athlete, by getting technical instructions from a professional coach.
Thus
, learning is quintessential for becoming wise.

An
intelligent
person
, would become successful, in handling things,
only
when the understanding of, various things
is nurtured
continuously
. As, an illustration, invention of the bulb,
was done
by an
intelligent
man
after undergoing a thorough study of science.
However
, if this, knowledge lacked, then it was impossible to discover artificial light.

On the other hand
,
some
people
may have better
intelligence
levels, than their counterparts.
For instance
,
some
children, in the world have, tremendous
intelligence
, for calculating, the mathematical figures, at a faster pace,
than
, of a calculator.
Therefore
, the
people
, do have, innate
intelligence
qualities, in them, although number of
people
, found with such tendencies is rare.

To summarize
, an individual may be
intelligent
, since birth,
however
,
intelligence
, can
be spiked
by recourse to, continuous tutorials. The
people
, should try to learn, from any source, they find reliable which will benefit, in improving, their
overall
thought
process.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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